•   ANNEX 

056 

24  J 


Cents, 


UNDING  DISCLOSURES!! 

;th !    Murder,  Rape,  Robbery,  Swin- 
07  .-nd  Forgery  Covertly  Organized! 
Cannibalism  Made  Dainty ! 

AN  EXPOSITION 

OF  THE 
INFERNAL  MACHINATIONS 

AND 

HORRIBLE  MONTIES 


•  OF 

,,..ITED  SEPULCHERISM; 

TOGETHER    WITH 

A    SURE    PLAN 

FOR    ITS 

SPEEDY  OVERTHROW. 

BY  THE  AUTHOR  OP 

"  THK    RELIGION    OF    SdKNVE,'7    "THE    ESSENCE    OF    SCIENCE,"    AND 
"  THE    NEW   CRISIS." 


California 
-egional 
acility 


NEW    YORK: 

J^ITED   15V    CALVIN  BLAXCHARD, 
TG   NASSAU  STREfcT. 

1860. 


' 


AEGUMENT. 


I.  Supernatural  foolery,  the  foundation  of  legal  and 
political  humbug;  whence  result  human  degradation  and 
misery. 

II.  The  cunning  hypocrisy  and  treachery  of  theolo- 
gians,   and   the  covert   scoundrelism   of   law-mongers  and 
politicians,  made  plain  to  all  victims  who  dare  think. 

III.  Truth,  reason  and  goodness,  unorganized,   can 
never  successfully  oppose  firmly  cemented  and  well  organ- 
ized foolery,  humbug  and  evil. 

IV.  How  science,  as  an  organized  whole,  and  installed 
as   both  religion    and    government,  can   redeem  mankind, 
and  establish  freedom  and  happiness. 

NOTICE. — Clubs,  or  individuals,  who  may  wish  to 
extend  the  circulation  of  this  work,  will  be  entitled  to  50 
pr.  cent  discount  on  25  copies,  or  60  do.  on  100  copies. 
Price,  18  cents.  Six  copies  sent  by  mail,  free  of  postage, 
for  $1  00.  Single  copies  sent,  do.  20  cents.  These  terms, 
for  an  original  work  of  50  pages,  large  12  mo,  with  tinted 
paper  covers,  are  surely  not  unreasonable.  Ye  who  would 
relieve  humanity  from  the  load  of  superstition,  humbug, 
,and  consequent  misery,  which  crushes  it  in  the  very  dust, 
lend  a  hand. 


HELL  ON  EARTH. 

THE  immediate  importance  of  my  subject  admits  of 
no  preliminary. 

Having  ascertained  when  and  where  the  "Whited 
Sepulcherites "  held  their  annual  conclave,  and  know- 
ing, furthermore,  that  the  priests  of  Woolly  wolf*  had 
free  access  to  all  the  meetings  of  this  infernal  brother- 
hood, I  furnished  myself  with  the  sacerdotal  costume, 
and  boldly  ventured  into  their 

PANDEMONIUM. 

I  found  the  company  composed  of  about  an  equal 
number  of  the  most  respectable  looking  and  elegantly 
dressed  gentlemen  and  ladies  ! 

In  justice  to  the  ladies,  I  must  say  that  they  were 
not  active,  but  only  passive  members  of  the  society. 

The  President  rose,  and  said — 

Ladies  and  Gentlemen ;  and  (Bowing  low,}  Most 
Reverend  Priests — Never  yet  have  I  appeared  before  you 
so  completely  entranced  in  the  most  exquisitely  infernal 
delight. 

Our  aims  are  all  accomplished.  Our  purposes  all 
fulfilled.  Our  work  completed. 

The  nineteenth  century  pays  roundly  for,  and  grate- 
fully wraps  itself  in,  the  tattered  swaddling  clothes  of  so- 
ciety's mental  infancy,  and  tremblingly  bows  to  the  ear- 
liest, and  therefore  most  false  and  barbarous  opinions  ot 
which  but  the  veriest  shreds  have  been  preserved.  Con- 
sequently— 

Charlatanry  and  imposture,  backed  by  blind  preju- 
dice, and  indirectly  but  most  effectively  assisted  by 
short-sighted  negativism,  keep  science  the  headless  and 
therefore  all  but  useless  thing,  it  must  remain  'til  ex- 

*  The  name  of  the  chief  deity  of  the  oldest,  and  consequently  most 
barbarous  religion  of  which  any  knowledge  has  descended  to  our  time. 
This  Theological  fossil,  is  the  base  of  Whited  Sepulcherism. 


4  HELL  ON   EARTH. 

tended  into  the  political,  moral  and  social  world.     Where, 
now,  in  its  stead, — 

Confusion  and  anarchy  are  enthroned  as  law  and  order. 
Folly  triumphs  over  wisdom. 
Ignorance  lords  it  over  knowledge. 

Wrong,  magnificently  great,  has  usurped  the  place 
and  even  the  name  of  right,  and  imposed  its  responsi- 
bilities and  odium  on  mere  peccadillo. 

Liberty  consists  but  in  man's  right  to  tax  himself 
for  his  own  enslavement,  and  for  converting  the  world 
into  a  "  vale  of  tears  "  through  which  he  bustles  in  less 
than  one  fourth  the  time  he  would,  guided  by  science, 
remain  supremely  happy  therein. 

Even  love  is  so  nearly  dethroned  that  lawyers,  con- 
stables and  turnkeys  are  the  graces  which  minister  at  the 
court  of  Cupid,  whose  wings  are  cut  off,  whose  eyes  are 
put  out,  and  whose  heart  is  tightly  wrapped  in  crusty 
vellum,  or  firmly  bound  in  law  sheep. 

Free-lover  (as  if  there  could  be  any  other  kind  oi' 
lover)  is  an  opprobrious  epithet  among  the  beautiful  half 
of  humanity. 

Free-thinker  (as  if  there  could  be  any  other  kind  of 
thinker)  is  an  opprobrious  epithet  among  men. 

Mankind  have  left  them  but  the  dismal  alternative 
of  splendid  misery  or  squalid  wretchedness. 

What  can  concentrated  evil  more  ? 

What  more  would,  even  Whited  Sepulcherism  ? 

Infernal  joy  thrills  my  very  marrow. 

[Demonstrations  of  the  wildest  delight.'] 

What,  compared  to  ours,  are  the  stale  joys  of  the 
worshippers  of  free  discussion  ? 

At  the  first  glance,  one  would  be  tempted  to  wish 
that  Scratchfyre*  and  his  regions  were  a  reality,  for 
the  sake  of  these  stubborn  oppositionists.  \Here  the, 
young  men  set  up  such  a  tiger  as  would  have  dona 
credit  to  all  the  wild  beaets  in  Africa,  and  the  ladies 

*  The  name  of  their  chief  devil,  sometimes  nicknamed  Old  Scratch. 


HELL   ON   EARTH.  5 

looked  as  though  they  wished  they  were  of  the  harsher- 
voiced  sex.~\ 

Nay,  after  all,  these  unconnected  zealots  are  hardly 
worth  our  spite.  True,  their  numbers  are  very  respect- 
able, and  their  individual  wealth  still  more  so.  But 
what  need  regular  troops,  with  able  leaders,  care  for 
unorganized  masses,  however  numerous  ?  The  property 
of  infidels  is  taxed,  sub  rosa,  in  a  hundred  different 
ways,  for  our  support.  Were  they  ten  times  as  wealthy 
as  ourselves,  it  would  avail  them  nothing.  Nay,  it 
would  strengthen  our  organization  more  than  it  would 
their  opposition  to  it,  so  long  as  the  watchful  priests  of 
Woolly  wolf,  whose  interests  are  identical  with  ours, 
have  the  shaping  of  the  human  organs  of  thought,  and, 
sub  rosa,  saturate  with  their  doctrines,  all  that  is  taught 
in  the  public  schools,  for  the  support  of  which  all  are 
taxed,  and  which  taxes  our  negativists  pay  without 
mucA  grumbling.  Our  trusty  priests,  I  say,  can,  and 
will,  so  form  the  infant  mind,  or  rather  so  deform  it, 
[Laughter^  that  the  multitude  can  no  more  reason  or 
understand  than  fashionable  Chinese  ladies  can  race. 

We  must  not,  however,  conceal  from  ourselves  the 
fact  that  in  these  Schools,  are  forged  weapons  which 
would  prove  dangerous  to  us  if  used,  But  the  mere 
means  of  acquiring  the  useful,  we  represent  as  the  use- 
ful itself,  and  there  the  matter  thus  far  ends. 

But  the  funniest  thing  of  all,  is,  that  these  opponents 
of  ours,  who  are  so  boastful  and  vain  of  their  superior 
reason,  support,  as  heartily  as  do  the  average  of  our  ad- 
herents, one  of  the  most  effective  of  all  our  measures, 
the  object  of  which  is,  by  making  woman  believe  she  is 
indebted  to  us  for  protection  against-  man's  barbarity,  to 
cause  her  so  universally  to  side  with  us,  that  it  is  all 
but  impossible  for  any  of  those  infidels  to  connect  him- 
self with  the  beautiful  half  of  humanity,  without 
entering  into  partnership  with  one  who  will  make  him 
fork  over  the  needful  into  our  treasury,  and  insist, 
furthermore,  that  their  children  shall  be  educated  after 
their  mother's  fashion. 


6  HELL   ON   EARTH. 

Because  we  have  prostituted  organization  and  power 
to  the  infliction  of  evil,  our  opponents  think  a  leader 
must  necessarily  be  a  tyrant,  that  organization  must 
unavoidably  oppress  individuals,  and  that  the  power 
which  leadership  and  organization  can  alone  create,  must 
inevitably  be  abused.  Thus,  they  are  self-preventive 
from  doing  us  any  harm. 

Napoleon  thrashed  his  foes  into  a  knowledge  of  how 
to  conquer  him,  but  common  sense  can't  be  cudgelled  into 
nothingists.  [A.  priest.  Of  course  not.  Did  not  we 
maim  their  brains,  as  we  shall  those  of  their  children, 
in  spite  of  all  they  can  know  as  to  how  to  prevent  it  ?] 

'Tis  clear  our  enemies  are  ignorant  of  the  A./B.  C. 
of  the  science  of  power — of  the  art  of  success.  [Bursts 
of  contemptuous  laughter.']  Figs  and  fiddle-sticks  for 
the  infidels,  reasoners,  retailers  of  disgregated  facts,  iso- 
lated truisms,  and  such  like  negative,  barren,  and  result- 
less  things.  Here  is  a  specimen  of  their  logic :  — 

"  You  must  tear  an  old  house  down,  and  clear  away 
the  rubbish,  before  you  can  build  a  new  one  on  the  same 
site." 

Who,  with  a  spark  of  common  sense,  don't  see  that 
the  case  they  cite  signally  fails  to  be  analogous  to  the 
one  in  question  ?  Would  it  be  advisable  or  necessary 
to  tear  down  all  the  houses  in  the  world,  (for  the  case  to 
be  covered  is  world-wide)  before  building  any ;  nay, 
before  even  knowing  how  to  build  any  ?  Would  not 
people  rationally  ask — "  If  you  tear  down  our  old  houses 
what  better  ones  will  you  give  us  in  their  stead  ?  And 
why  not  give  us  a  specimen  of  your  architecture  before 
exposing  us  without  any  protection,  to  the  scorching  sun 
and  pelting  storm  ?*?  [Laughter.~\ 

Well,  every  thing  is  now  so  entirely  to  our  satis- 
faction that  henceforth  our  easy  task  must  be  to  keep 
matters  exactly  as  they  are. 

Democracy  apparently  don't  expect  government  to  do 
much  good.  To  prevent  it  from  doing  harm  is  nearly 
all  that  is  attempted.  Lest  the  "  necessary  evils " 
democrats  sullenly  submit  to,  should  have  time  to 


HELL  ON  EARTH.  7 

cement  their  power  too  much,  very  rapid  "  rotation  in 
office "  is  resorted  to.  But  the  dear  people  have  not 
made  the  time  their  chosen  humbugs  and  privileged 
swindlers  hold  office,  too  short  to  enable  each  to  grab  his 
handful  of  feathers  from  the  public  goose.  [Laughter.~\ 
Democrats  ignore  the  great  truth  that  it  takes  people  a 
long  time  to  do  good,  and  but  a  short  time  to  do  evil; 
a  long  time  to  create,  and  but  a  short  time  to  destroy. 
A  temple  it  would  take  forty  years  to  build,  a  few  Van- 
dals might  demolish  in  a  few  hours,  and  millions  of 
public  funds,  long  and  laboriously  accumulated,  may  be 
Swart  \vouted  in  the  shortest  time  to  which  democracy 
can  possibly  reduce  the  term  of  office. 

Leaders  could  not  possibly  abuse  any  power,  how- 
ever great,  which  organization  can  bestow, — nor  could 
they  so  organize  the  people  as  to  make  them,  as  they 
do  now,  destroy  their  own  liberty  and  happiness  —  if 
mankind  looked  for  results  only  here  on  earth.  If  the 
people  settled  with  their  sociological  artificers  as  they  do 
with  lower  mechanics.  At  the  worst,  rationalistic  po- 
litical moral  and  social  architects  could  no  more  impose 
on  those  who  confided  in  them,  than  do  those  whose  ar- 
tistic and  mechanical  skill  is  confined  to  the  simpler  and 
less  complicated  sphere  of  things  more  palpably  material. 
If  men  would  not  attempt  to  "  quit  their  sphere  and 
rush  into  the  skies,"  if  they  could  gain  but  sense  enough 
to  see  that  the  earth  must  be  their  final  home,  their 
leaders,  however  well  organized,  could  no  more  become 
so  powerful  as,  to  any  dangerous  extent,  to  oppress  the 
many,  than  an  ounce  in  one  end  of  the  scale,  could 
make  the  other  end,  with  a  pound  in  it,  and  no  string 
pulling  at,  it,  from  above,  kick  the  beam.  *  But  we 
know  how  to  keep  the  children  of  earth,  constantly 

*  The  words  God  and  Spirit,  convey  no  more  meaning  than  so 
many  letters  thrown  together  at  random.  But  admitting  that,  after 
abstracting  matter  and  its  conditions,  there  be  an  unconditioned  resi- 
duum, transcendentalists  themselves  admit  the  impossibility  of  our 
knowing  any  more  on  the  subject  than  the  barren  fact.  Can  it  be  of 
any  more  consequence  to  us  than  is  the  motion  of  those  stars  which 


8  HELL   ON  EAETH. 

busied  with  matters  purporting  to  be  "beyond  the  skies,' 
[Cheering.]  Thus  only  can  we  abuse,  prostitute,  and 
disgrace  organization,  leadership  and  power.  Thus  only 
can  we  obtain  power  of  which  the  people  who  give  it 
cannot  divest  us.  Thus  only  can  we  convert  the  three 
requisites  for  the  production  of  sociological  science — 
leadership,  organization  and  power,  into  bugbears, 
with  which  to  frighten  the  well-wishers  of  humanity 
into  do-nothings.  Thus  only  can  we  perpetuate  the 
idea  that  the  very  best  government  obtainable  is  the 
torn-foolery  which  any  one  elected  from  the  crowd  can 
practice,  or  soon  get  the  hang  of.  Thus  only  can  we 
keep  men  from  rinding  out  that  legitimate  government 
is  the  science  which  its  professors  can  acquire  only  in 
proportion  as  they  acquaint  themselves  with  all  the  other 
sciences — that  it  is  the  science;  of  teaching  human  beings 
how  to  live,  on  the  average,  four  or  h've  times  as  long 
as  they  now  do,  and  in  a  condition  happier  than  they 
can  now  accurately  conceive  of.  Thus  only  can  we 
prevent  the  many  from  gladly  employing  and  richly  pay- 
ing a  few  to  devote  their  whole  time  to  the  performance 
of  all  this,  and  thus  only  can  we  prevent  these  powerful 
employers  from  compelling  their  sociological  artizans  to 
perform  their  tasks  or  give  place  to  those  who  can. 

But  all  this,  by  the  crafty  means  just  indicated,  we 
do  and  must  continue  to  prevent. 

Oh,  is'nt  it  rich  to  see  solid,  earth-made,  sensuous 
beings,  striving  to  promote  a  self-denying  and  therefore 
suicidal  and  monstrous  species  of  liberty,  virtue  and 
honesty,  conceived  beyond  the  skies,  but  born  and  nur- 
tured on  the  earth  ?  To  see  those  who,  but  for  us,  might 
be  as  much  happier  than  lower,  animals  as  their  reason- 
ing faculties  are  superior,  making  the  superiority  of  their 
faculties  the  very  means  of  degrading  themselves  below 
vegetables  ? 

Oh,  how  luxurious  it  is  to  view  the  misery  we  create 

!  have  no  parallax  ?  Is  there  a  shadow  of  probability  that  it  is  of  as 
much,  since  the  to  us  fixed  stars  visibly  exist  ?  Then  why  waste  valu- 
able time,  and  exhaust  brain  strength  on  the  subject? 


HELL  ON   EARTH.  9 

in  contrast  with  the  happiness  we  prevent.     \Cheering 
long  and  loud.] 

And  how  do  we  keep  the  world  gaping  at  what  lies 
beyond  human  ken  ?-^-and  thus  drag  the  intellectuality 
of  the  nineteenth  century  almost  down  to  a  level  with 
that  of  the  primitive  ages  ? 


BY  EDUCATION. 

By  the  only  means  by  which  our  opponents  could, 
if  they  Avould  organize  under  able  leaders,  with  their 
whole  time  to  devote  to  their  business,  dethrone  us,  and 
displace  misery  by  happiness. 

But  our  foes  can  no  more  overthrow  us  by  attempt- 
ing to  teach  reason  to  men  and  women,  or  rather  those 
big  enough  to  be  such,  than  they  can  build  a  house  by 
beginning  at  the  top  and  working  towards  the  bottom. 

The  meek  friends  and  teachers  of  little  children  con- 
ciliate the  women,  defy  the  men,  and  subjugate  the 
world.  I  tremble  lest  the  pretenders  to  reason,  and  de- 
votees of  everlasting  free  discussion  should  learn  common 
sense  by  our  example.  [A  priest,  in  a  rather  tremu- 
lous voice.  Fear  not,  them.  If  we  are  ever  subjugated 
it  will  be  by  foes  vf  our  own  household.  If  any  priest 
in  high  standing  should  ever  succeed  in  turning  the 
battery  of  education  and  organization  against  us  from 
the  fortress  under  his  command,  we  might  be  done  for. 
'Til  then,  I  repeat,  fear  nothing.] 

My  friends,  those  who  love  freedom  which  they  don't 
know  how  to  get,  and  glory  in  that  which  may  the 
Devil  give  them  good  of,  delight  themselves,  every  fourth 
of  July,  by  reading  over  the  Declaration  of  their  fancied 
Independence.  I  will  inform  any  Whited  Sepulcherite, 
who  may  be  here  for  the  first  time,  that  we,  too,  annu- 
ally jollify  ourselves  over  our  Declaration  of  Indepen- 
dence— over  the  charter  of  our  liberty  to  prevent  the 
happiness  and  trample  on  the  freedom  of  mankind.  But 
before  doing  so,  we  will  partake  of  our  delectable 


10  HELL  ON   EAETH. 

FEAST  OF  HORRORS. 

I  was  in  for  it.  Even  a  look  of  disapprobation 
would  cost  my  life,  I  was  morally  sure.  Just  at  this 
instant  my  career  would  have  ended  had  I  been  observed, 
for  I  actually  staggered  with  horror,  on  discovering, 
whilst  the  company  were  crowding  to  the  supper  room, 
that  the  clothes  we  had  on,  though  as  fine  in  texture 
and  as  beautiful  in  colours  as  any  I  had  ever  seen,  and 
apparently  differing  in  nothing  from  those  worn  in 
fashionable  circles,  were  spun  from  human  sinews  and 
muscles,  and  sewed  together  with  thread  made  of  the 
heart-strings  and  lung  tissues  of  beautiful  young  girls ! 

After  a  priest  had,  in  due  form,  evidently  from  mere 
force  of  habit,  invoked  the  blessing  of  Woolly  wolf,  Cham- 
baa  bee,  and  the  Holy  Boogeeboo,  *  - 

The  first  course  consisted  of  the  brains  of  sailors, 
beat  out  with  hand  spikes. 

The  second  course  consisted  of  the  flesh  of  slaves, 
roasted  alive,  or  whippad  to  death. 

The  third  course  consisted  of  the  flesh  of  laborers, 
worked  and  starved  to  death.  Here  the  cook's  art  was 
perfectly  marvellous.  For  despite  probabilities,  this 
course  was  more  savoury  than  either  of  the  preceding 
ones. 

The  relish  with  which  these  viands  went  down  the 
throats  of,  both  ladies  and  gentlemen,  I  was  obliged  to 
imitate  as  well  as  my  horrified  feelings  would  let  me. 
However,  as  I  found  them  no  wise  different  in  taste  from 
my  every  day  food,  I  tried  to  forget,  and  managed  to 
swallow. 

But  the  worst  was  yet  to  come.  For,  after  washing 
down  this  horrible  meal  in  brimming  goblets  of  human 
blood,  tasting,  however,  like  the  choicest  and  costliest 
wines,  in  which  the  rich  attempt  daily  to  drown  their 
enui  and  disappointment,  — 

The  desert  consisted  of  the  flesh  of  the  most  sensi- 
tive of  the  human  race,  distilled  through  mental  agony ' 

*  The  three  omnipresent  gods  of  Whited  Sepulcherism. 


HELL  ON    EARTH.  11 

Its  taste,  however,  did  not  differ  a  whit  from  the 
most  costly  dishes  served  up  at  the  tables  of  rich  par- 
venus. 

Oh,  with  how  much  less  mental  dissatisfaction  could 
I  have  supped  with  a  Cannibal  Islander. 

Whilst  we  re-entered  the  lecture  room,  a  full  band 
of  music,  played  "  Rogues  All,  "  and  "  Ourselves,  Right 
or  Wrong,"  which  many  of  the  company  sung,  and  which 
was  over  and  again  encored. 

A  priest  in  full  canonicals,  now  ascended  the  rostrum, 
and,  opening  one  of  the  largest  and  most  antiquated 
books  I  had  ever  ,?een,  said  — 

My  friends.  The  ponderous  charter  of  our  inde- 
pendence though  every  word,  and  letter,  and  point  in  it 
is  worshipped  by  those  it  is  the  means  of  enslaving,  is 
of  such  a  nature  that  I  shall  be  able  to  give  you  its 
whole  pith  in  so  few  words,  that  instead  of  tiring  of  it, 
you  will  rather  wish  to  hear  it  repeated,  in  order  to  laugh 
your  till  over  the  joke  we  have  played  off  on  mankind, 
and,  to  cap  the  ludicrous,  continue  to  play  off,  even  on 
the  nineteenth  century. 

The  characteristic  which  distinguishes  man  from 
lower  animals,  is,  his  capacity  to  enquire  whence  he  and 
all  else  originated,  and  how  all  will  end.* 

The  knaves  who  naturally  germinated  from  the 
primitive  mass  of  fools  thus  answered  this  question : 

Woollywolf,  after  spending  the  first  half  of  eternity 
in  hearing,  seeing,  feeling,  tasting,  smelling,  and  being 
nothing  that  we  can  know  of,  got  tired  of  the  monotony 
of  the  thing,  or  rather  nothing,  and  made  all  which  is. 

*  But  for  man's  capability  to  ask  a  question  more  irrational  than 
any  lower  animal  is  capable  of  conceiving,  he  never  could  have  acquired 
even  the  fragments  of  science  which  will  some  day,  by  being  joined  to- 
gether, formed  into  a  whole,  and  made  the  base  of  sociological  science, 
dethrone  Whited  Sepulcherism.  By  studying  the  mystical,  man  has 
discovered  the  phenominal.  Seeking  for  natures  cause,  has  introduced 
him  to  so  many  of  her  laws,  that  he  will  find  out  even  the  most  compli- 
cated of  them.  The  first  knaves  and  primitive  fools  were  mutually 
benefited  by  each  other.  Thus  germinated  leadership  and  organiza- 
tion. 


12  HELL   ON   EARTH. 

In  such  a  rough  and  tumble  manner,  however,  that  day 
and  night  occurred  before  the  sun  was  created.  The 
sun  revolved  round  the  earth,  which  was  flat  and  sta- 
tionary, and  above  which,  the  stars  were  set  in  a  ceiling, 
the  other  side  of  which  was  a  reservoir  of  water,  which 
was  sifted  through  this  ceiling  whenever  rain  was  wan- 
ted. 

The  whole  of  this  was  intended,  by  its  creator,  for 
the  eternal  accommodation  of  a  single  pair  of  each  species 
of  animals,  including  man.  Death  was  never  intended 
to  have  entered  into  the  world,  even  to  accommodate 
lions  and  tigers ;  and  never  would  have  taken  place, 
had  our  first  mother  continued  blindly  obedient.  Woolly- 
wolf  privileged  her  to  do  any  thing  she  pleased,  except 
to  pull  her  husband's  nose  ;  a  thing  it  never  would  hav& 
entered  into  her  head  to  do,  had  she  not  been  forbidden ;  and 
for  doing  which,  death  was  entailed  on  all  living  creatures, 
and  eternal  damnation  on  ninety  nine  hundreths  of  "man 
kind.  This  damnation  consisting  in  having  the  flesh  of 
the  soul  eternally  carded  off  with  red  hot  hetchels. 

From  the  incestuous  intercourse  between  the  children 
of  the  first  pair,  mankind,  red,  white  and  black,  de- 
scended. 

As  might  have  been  expected,  those  so  abominably 
begotten  became  so  corrupt,  that  Woollywolf,  in  a  rage, 
tucked  a  male  and  female  of  each  animal,  and  a  single 
human  family,  into  his  breeches  pockets,  flew  up  above 
the  reservoir  with  them,  and  let  its  whole  contents 
down  on  the  earth,  destroying  every  thing  which  breathed, 
except  the  fishes. 

After  the  water  had  dried  up,  Woollywolf  descended 
to  the  earth,  and  emptied  his  pockets.  But  the  means 
by  which  he  undertook  to  reform  his  creatures  met  with 
such  bad  success  that  he  would  afterwards  have  drowned 
them  all,  had  he  not  promised  not  to  do  so. 

Failing  to  do  any  good  by  inflicting  evil  on  his 
creatures,  Woollywolf  resolved  to  reverse  his  tactics,  and 
try  the  experiment  of  inflicting  it  on  himself. 

Through    the   agency  of  the    Holy    Boogeeboo    he 


HELL  ON   EARTH.  13 

managed  to  get  into  the  womb  of  the  daughter  of  a  rag- 
picker, betrothed  to  a  swill-boy,  and  was  born  in  a  hog- 
stye,  and  called  Chambaabee. 

On  which  occasion,  all  the  stars  in  the  heavens,  to 
show  they  could  be  as  small  as  their  maker  could  be 
degraded,  came  into  his  chosen  residence,  and  paid  their 
respects  to  him  and  his  mother;  and  even  the  Holy  Boo- 
geeboo  consented  that  a  messenger  should  be  sent  to 
stop  the  boohooing  of  the  swill-boy,  and  to  assure  poor 
Jo  that  he  would  tind  his  sweetheart  a  virgin,  after  all. 

Chambaabee  often  used  to  weep  over  the  miseries  of 
mankind.  For  about  thirty  years  he  led  a  vagabond 
life,  accompanied  by  other  vagabonds,  committing  all 
sorts  of  petty  crimes  against  decent  society,  destroying 
hogs,  stealing  horses  and  colts,  appropriating  and  tramp- 
ling down  corn,  on  the  Sabbath  day,  girdling  fruit  trees, 
upsetting  the  stands  of  market-women,  and  scattering 
their  apples,  candies  and  lose  change  about,  for  one  of 
their  number,  who  carried  the  bag,  to  pick  up. 

Sometimes  he  cursed  the  rich,  up  hill  and  down. 
Then,  again,  he  would  commend  the  most  exorbitant 
usury,  and  laud  the  grossest  dishonesty.  He  taught  to 
do  good  to  all,  and  then  to  do  no  good  thing,  not  even 
to  fulfill  one's  duty  as  a  magistrate,  except  to  avoid  being 
importuned. 

He  preached  forgiveness,  and  then  declared  he  him- 
self would  forgive  no  one  who  should  doubt  the  precious 
tale  I  am  relating,  or  who  should  not  believe  in  him  and 
his  doctrines.  Now,  one  half  his  doctrines  were  in  flag- 
rant and  direct  contradiction  to  the  other  half.  What 
was  man  to  do?  Of  course,  put  himself,  stone  blind, 
under  the  guidance  of  those  who  undertook  to  explain 
them.  \Roars  of  laughter.'] 

One  doctrine,  he  so  emphatically  insisted  on,  that 
there  was  pretty  good  reason  to  suppose  he  really  meant 
it.  It  was,  that  man  should  submit,  without  any  re- 
sistance, to  whatever  tyranny  the  most  odious  might 
chose  to  inflict,  and  destroy  all  his  earthly  happiness, 
even  to  emasculating  himself,  for  the  kingdom  of  Heaven's 


14  HELL   ON   EARTH. 

sake.  In  his  own  day,  he  gained  but  few  adherents  ; 
and  finally,  became  so  odious,  that  a  mob  of  cow-boys 
nailed  him  to  a  barn-door,  when  he  squealed  like  a  pig 
and  died.  At  that  instant,  the  moon  turned  into  a  green 
cheese  and  the  sun  swallowed  it.  This  made  the  north  star 
roar  out  "  crackee,"  so  loud  that  the  biggest  barn  in  the 
neighborhood  split  in  two,  and  many  dead  horses  were 
startled  to  life,  went  into  their  old  stables,  ate  up  their 
fodder,  then  harnessed  themselves  to  their  old  coaches, 
drew  their  old  masters  to  church,  and  then  vanished. 

Chambaabee  himself  arose  from  the  dead  after  a 
while,  went  into-  a  place  where  his  disciples  were  as- 
sembled, said  "  peek-a-boo,  old  Grim  can't  come  it  over 
this  child,"  and  then  flew  up  to  beyond  the  skies. 

His  followers  eagerly  looked  to  see  if  their  old  master 
had  left  any  thing  behind  him,  and  found  a  leather 
medal,  on  which  was  a  charcoal  sketch  of  a  stuck  pig, 
nailed  to  a  barn  door,  with  H.  S.  I.,  the  initials  of 
Hypocrisy  Superstition  and  Ignorance,  over  his  head, 
which  the  faithful  now  suppose  means — Here  Salvation 
Is. 

[The priest  here  sat  down;  and  after  the  laughter, 
which  was  long  and  loud,  had  ceased,  the  president  re- 
co  mmenced.  ] — 

My  -friends. —  It  would  seem  as  though  human 
gullibility  must  have  been  tasked  to  its  utmost  by  the 
theology  which  underlies  Whited  Sepulcherism.  But  I 
shall  proceed  to  show  that  folly  can  go  as  much  further 
than  this,  as  men  can  perform  more  than  children. 

Do  but  reflect  that  the  precious  stuff  you  have  just 
heard,  is  but  the  training  the  child's  capacity  to  be  im- 
posed on  receives,  and  then  you  will  see,  that  the  only 
remaining  difficulty  must  be  to  furnish  nonsense  suffi- 
ciently monstrous,  and  enough  of  it,  to  satisfy  the  man. 
This,  I  have  to  confess  even  our  inability  to  perform; 
for  the  more  we  cram  men  with  the  very  concentrated 
essence  of  humbug,  the  wider  do  they  open  their  insa- 
tiable maws  for  larger  gulps  of  what  we  palm  off  on 
them  for 


HELL  ON  EAETH.  15 

LAW. 

[Extravagant glee.   Music.     " L-A-W.  Law."'] 

Of  all  the  insulting  humbugs — of  all  the  inflictions 
for  which  mankind  have  to  thank  us,  and,  for  which 
they  most  heartily  do  thank  us,  there  is  not  one,  with 
which  we  have  so  much  cause  to  be  satisfied,  as  with  the 
law. 

So  long  as  we  can  keep  our  slaves  hugging  this  chain, 
we  are  perfectly  secure. 

If  monarchy  deals  out  law  with  a  spoon,  democracy 
piles  it  on  with  a  barn-shovel.  Man  seeks  law  and 
liberty  in  the  farthest  possible  remove  from  both. 

Oh,  is'nt  it  rich,  -to  see  the  good  people,  clinging  for 
dear  life  to  the  huge  mass  of  confusion  we  keep  piling 
for  them  ;  and  fearing  if  they  let  go  their  hold  on  this, 
they  will  sink  into  anarchy.  They  suppose  the  law  is 
the  rule  for  them  to  go  by ;  but  the  instant  they  try  to 
make  the  slightest  practical  use  of  their  guide,  they  find 
they  can  no  more  understand  it,  than  if  it  had  been 
written  in  Chinese.  Besides,  the  rules  of  their  every  day 
life  are  contained  in  books  it  would  take  them  all  their 
lives  to  read  ;  [Laughter.']  which  books,  even  lawyers 
don't  pretend  to  understand,  'til  after  long  years  of  hard 
study. 

Ilise,  Ladies  and  Gentlemen,  and  thank  the  priests 
of  Wooliywolf,  here  present,  and  through  them,  all  their 
brethren.  [All  rise,  and  bow  to  the  priests,  who  receive 
the  honour  sitting.']  'Tis  they,  who  teach  the  dear  peo- 
ple, the  good  people,  the  respectable  people,  the  useful 
people,  [Laughter.^  to  expect  nothing  but  buffeting  and 
misery  "  here  below,"  in  this  unalterable  "vale  of  tears" — 
to  love  those  who  hate,  despise,  use  and  humbug  them 
as  we  do,  by  means  of  what  is  palmed  off  on  them  for 
law,  and  who  unfit  them,  in  youth,  to  know  the  difference 
between  real  law  and  the  s/iarn  we  give  them  for  it. 

This  law  may  be  compared  to  a  bed  of  roses;  so  fair, 
so  sweet,  does  it  appear,  spread  out  by  our  most  worthy 
Blackstone,  Kent,  and  others.  The  world  has  been 


r 


16  HELL   ON  EARTH. 

lured  to  repose  thereon.  But  oh !  has  it  not  felt  the 
thorns  ? 

So  long  as  we  can  keep  mankind  under  sham  law, 
we  can  tax  them  to  our  hearts  content,  rob  them  as  much 
as  we  please — in  short,  do  with  them  whatever  we  like. 
What  anarchy — what  confusion,  have  we  not  inflicted 
on  the  folly-ridden  world  in  the  name  of  law ! 

That  law  and  justice  are  two  different  things,  is  pro- 
verbial even  among  our  victims.  But  this  great  truth, 
though  pronounced  by  themselves,  makes  no  practical 
impression  on  their  theologically  bewildered  brains. 

But  in  order  to  enjoy  a  full  view  of  the  evil  we  have 
inflicted  on  mankind  by  sham  law,  let  us  take  a  view  ot 
what  might,  and  but  for  our  effects  would,  be  law.  For 
we  cannot  fully  enjoy  the  false,  without  seeing  it  in  con- 
trast with  the  true. 

The  material,  is  the  base  of  the  intellectual.  (Not 
that  there  is  any  such  entity  as  intellectuality,  any  more 
than  there  is  such  a  thing  as  attraction,  electricity,  light, 
or  darkness.)  Therefore,  true  law  in  intellectuality,  must 
be  as  spontaneous,  as  consistent,  as  harmonious,  as  ma- 
thematical, as  it  is  in  materiality  the  most  palpable.  We 
can  no  more  make  laws  for  intellectuality  than  for  ma- 
teriality. We  can  but  discover  and  define  them.  By 
discovering  what  law  is,  we  might  avoid  the  folly  and 
consequent  misery  of  attempting  to  compel  people  to  act, 
contrary  to  it.  We  here  see  that  the  very  ne  plus  ultra 
of  anarchy  is  produced  by  attempting  to  govern  mankind 
by  made  laws.  Now,  almost  every  title  of  what  we 
have  put  off  for  law  have  we  not  cause  to  be  made,  and 
that,  too,  by  those  who  either  had  no  conception  of  true 
law,  or,  if  they  had,  were  too  smart  to  make  known  their 
thoughts  on  the  subject?  \Here" the  company,  (ladies 
excepted)  kicked  over  the  benches,  rolled  on  the  floor, 
and  held  their  sides.  The  men  shouted,  and  the  ladies 
screamed  in  extatic  delight.~\ 

External  force  is  as  inapplicable  to  moral,  as  to  phy- 
sical law.  I  have  half  a  mind  to  tax  the  world  the  ex- 
pense of  strapping  the  earth  with  iron,  to  keep  its  centri- 


HELL  ON  EARTH.  17 

fugal  force  from  throwing  it  to  pieces  ;  or  to  make  the 
goodies  pay  us  for  pulling  the  limbs  of  their  apple  trees 
to  make  them  grow  faster.  But  no.  That  would  not 
make  mankind  any  more  ridiculous,  and  not  half  as 
miserable.  Besides,  don't  we  now  tax  the  dear  people 
all  they  can  possibly  pay  ? 

The  charlatanry  which  makes  laws,  can  never  be  dis- 
placed by  the  science  which  could  discover  them  and  their 
connection,  'til  mankind  are,  from  infancy,  educated  in 
the  phenomenal  and  real,  instead  of  in  the  miraculous 
and  imaginary,  and  until  their  leaders  are  materialists 
instead  of  supernaturalists.  Our  opponents  have  thus 
far,  with  but  few  exceptions,  been  little  more  than  mere 
faultfinders,  who  grumble  and  fret,  and  boast  of  their 
reason,  and  talk  about  truth,  and  retail  disconnected,  iso- 
lated, and  therefore  all  but  useless  facts,  yet  lack  the 
very  rudiments  of  common  sense.  They  don't  know 
enough  to  organize,  to  develop  the  faculties,  both  cerebral 
and  muscular,  of  children,  and  to  teach  them  to  reason 
and  understand,  ere  we,  through  organization,  unfit  them 
for  doing  either,  and  render  them  physically  contempti- 
ble, and  incapable  of  knowing  truths,  of  any  magnitude  or 
intricacy,  from  falsehoods.  Ere  we  indelibly  fix  in  their 
minds  the  grossest  and  most  pernicious  falsehoods,  as 
the  most  precious  and  important  truths. 

Oh,  how  delightful  it  is  to  see  our  foes  distrust  and 
abandon  all  who  attempt  scientifically  to  do  any  thing 
to  build  up  the  cause  of  humanity.  All  the  genius, 
learning,  and  talent,  are  thus,  however  unwillingly,  driven 
into  our  ranks.  Even  Science  has  to  bow  to,  shape  itself 
by,  or  at  least  coquette  with,  our  theology.  [JKoars  of 
laughter.'] 

Only  tlirouf K  a  knowledge  of  connected  science,  can 
law  be  defined.  But  what  of  this  vast  and  difficult 
study,  which  requires  such  elaboration,  can  those  know, 
who,  in  order  to  obtain  a  living,  have  always  been,  and, 
always  must  be,  more  or  less  confined  to  some  speciality? 
What  of  science  do  those  who  make  laws  know,  except 
the  science  of  getting  elected  to  take  a  turn  at  swind- 


18  HELL  ON  EARTH. 

ling,    robbing,     and    humbugging     their     constituents? 


To  manage  some  pretty  shop  ;  to  build  a  ship  or 
house  ;  to  make  shoes,  or  even  to  cut  hair,  the  good 
people  can  see,  requires  time  and  teaching.  Yet  those 
who  are  to  determine  what  law  is  —  who  should  discover 
how  to  make  man  happy,  free,  and  good,  need  only  to 
be  born  to  the  business,  or  elected,  often  by  fraud,  some- 
times by  violence,  and  always  by  humbug,  in  order  to 
be  fully  qualified  !  [Prolonged  laughter.] 

Whenever  our  victims  get  into  difficulty  which  they 
have  recourse  to  law  to  settle,  they  turn  to  the  ponder- 
ous books  to  see  what  law  is.  If  they  are  not  labouring 
under  some  maniacy,  they  perceive  only  that  they  might 
as  well  have  consulted  a  brick.  Those  of  their  friends 
who  have  experienced  what  law  is,  always  advise  them 
to  desist,  let  the  case  be  what  it  will  ;  If  this  advice  is 
not  taken,  the  devoted  victims  deliver  themselves  blindly 
into  the  hands  of  those  who  pretend  to  understand  law. 
After  a  year  or  two  of  the  most  torturing  vexation  and 
anxiety,  attended  with  ruinous  expenses,  would  be  grave 
looking  judges  *  pronounce  a  verdict  which  they  pretend 
is  in  accordance  with  the  meaning  of  some  particle  of 
the  opaque  mass  they  have  been  looking  into  for  light 
on  the  subject;  and  although  this  appears  such  an 
astonishing  mental  feat  that  its  performers  are  considered 
prodigies  of  wisdom,  the  people  imagine  this  same  opaque 
mass  of  law  is  their  every  day  guide  /  and  that  without 
it,  they  would  be  in  a  state  of  anarchy  !  [Great  glee.~] 

How  clear  constitutional  law,  the  most  imcortant  of 


*  Democracy  seats  on  benches,  an  array  of  despots,  invested  with 
power  more  insultingly  ty-'annical  than  any  throned  autocrat  dares  ex- 
ercise. Heads  must  be  uncovered  before  them,  and  whichever  attorney 
can  manage  to  put  in  the  toadyism  "  your  Honour  "  the  thickest,  is 
most  sure  ot  winning  his  suit.  Respectable  ,and  worthy  people  have 
been  imprisoned  for  contempt,  often  unwittingly  committed,  of  some 
miserable  devil  popular  suffrage  has  fished  out  of  the  mud  gutter,  or 
made  a  judge,  just  in  time  to  prevent  his  becoming  a  hall-thief  or  pocket- 
book  dropper. 


HELL   ON   EARTH.  19 

all,  is,  may  be  inferred  from  the  fact,  that  no  two  judges, 
of  contrary  politics,  ever  construe  it  alike. 

We  give  the  law  some  appearance  of  being  in  accor- 
dance -with  right,  else  it  would  be  no  go.  Thus,  the 
booby  who  should  see  a  piece  of  loadstone  riveted  to  a 
piece  of  steel,  would  think  their  attraction  for  each  other 
greatly  assisted.  Only  the  scientific  could  see  that  the 
real  law  of  attraction  could  thus  alone,  be  completely 
destroyed.  We  cannot  rivet  the  sexes  quite  so  insepa- 
rably as  we  can  iron  and  loadstone,  but  we  do  our  best, 
and  proportionally  destroy  their  mutual  attraction  for 
each  other,  whilst  seeming  to  strenghten  it  ;  and,  to  the 
utmost  extent  to  which  it  can  be  done,  promote  the 
grossest  lust  and  sensuality.  \Cheering. ~\ 

The  marriage  law  is  professedly  aimed  against  pros- 
titution. Yet  prostitution  is  acknowledged,  by  the 
marriage  governed  community,  to  be  an  unavoidable, 
"necessary  evil;"  of  course,  a  part  of  their  system.  Mar- 
riage can  no  more  repudiate  what  it  has  never  lacked 
than  a  fish  can  deny  his  tail. 

But  how  much  of  what  is  called  marriage,  is  really 
any  thing  more  or  less  than  wholesale  prostitution  ?  We 
must  keep  marriage  what  it  is  ;  if  this  fortress  is  ever 
yielded,  our  whole  scheme  will  go  to  ruin. 

Respectable  society  is  afraid  it  will  be  impoverished 
by  having  to  provide  for  too  many  children,  unless  parents 
are  married.  They  don't  see  that  those  least  capable  of 
providing  for  their  children,  produce  far  the  greatest  num- 
ber, through  marriage,  to  fill  alms-houses  with,  or  go 
begging  through  the  streets.  [Laughter.~\ 

Black  children,  whether  their  parents  are  married  or 
not,  are  worth  $300  as  soon  as  born,  although  to  be 
brought  up  so  as  to  make  them  as  useless  as  they  pos- 
sibly can  be.  Yet  society  don't  know  how  to  educate 
white  children,  so  as  to  make  them  other  than  an  expen- 
sive burthen.  [Prolonged  glee.  Music.  Air  "  Popu- 
lar Ignorance."1^ 

We  have  made  laws  ostensibly  to  promote  the  pay- 
ment of  debts.  How  could  any  thing  appear  more  just  ? 


20  HELL   ON   EARTH. 

Yet  that  these  precious  statutes  are  the  cause  why  such 
a  vast  amount  of  debts  are  never  paid,  we  see  clearly 
enough,  when  we  look  at  the  fact  that  gambling  debts, 
which  the  law  requires  the  non-payment  of,  are  with 
scarcely  an  exception,  scrupulously  paid. 

Nearly  all  the  debts  collected  by  law,  are  court  fees 
and  lawyers  charges.  The  reason  of  this  is,  men  do  not 
now,  in  reality,  trust  each  other,  they  do  but  trust  the 
law ;  and  when  it  is  most  convenient,  all  things  con- 
sidered, not  to  pay,  the  creditor  is  at  liberty  to  get  all 
he  can  by,  through,  or  out  of,  the  law.  [.Laughter.] 
The  debtor  makes  oath  that  he  gives  up  all  his  property; 
and,  after  getting  his  liabilities  out  of  existence  at  from  5 
to  20  cents  on  the  dollar,  keeps  a  coach  and  servants, 
and  lives  in  upper  tendom.  [Cheering.  Music.  A.ir. 
"Ain't  We  /Smart  f  "J  .  If  any  body  dares  insinuate  that 
such  an  one  has  committed  perjury,  he  had  better  look 
out  for  the  entanglements  of  the  libel  law.. 

The  poor  creditor  only  gets  laughed  at  or  blamed  if 
he  complains.  What  right  has  he  to  find  fault  ? — To 
annoy  and  persecute  a  peaceful,  law-abiding  citizen  ? 
What  more  could  be  expected  of  one  than  that  he  should 
fulfill  the  law  ?  [Roars  of  Z,aughter.~\ 

If  any  one  should  take  from  this  good  law-keeping 
citizen,  without  paying  for  it,  ever  so  small  a  portion  of 
the  vast  amount  kept,  without  being  payed  for,  the  law 
would  consider  the  taker  a  thief.  Yes,  let  twenty-five 
dollars  be  taken,  unpaid  for,  from  half  a  million  kept 
unpaid  for,  and  the  bold  taker  is,  by  law,  a  criminal,  de- 
serving to  hammer  stone  for  long  years,  without  pay, 
and  to  lodge  in  a  stone  cell  three  feet  by  six  ;  whilst 
the  treacherous,  cowardly,  sneaking,  perjured  keeper  of 
the  half  million  from  which  it  was  taken,  dwells  in  a 
palace,  goes  where  he  pleases,  enjoys  all  the  luxuries  of 
life,  and  stands  more  than  an  even  chance  of  being 
elected  to  some  high  and  lucrative  office,  by  those  who 
laud  nothing  (our  holy  religion  excepted),  so  much  as 
smartness,  and  who  honour  wealth,  however  obtained, 
more  than  any  thing  except  our  Gods. 


HELL   ON   EARTH.  21 

But  the  most  exquisite  concentration  of  infernalism, 
is  the  operation  of  law,  when  working  people,  and  parti- 
cularly sewing  girls,  ask  pay  of  their  employers,  for  the 
labor  they  of  necessity  have  to  trust  for.  Many  of  these 
employers,  knowing  that  the  law  is  all  they  have  to  fear, 
order  working  girls,  out  of  their  stores  without  paying 
them,  as  soon  as  they  have  deposited  their  work,  al- 
though they  know  these  poor  girls  have  not  the  means 
of  procuring  a  lodging  for  the  night.  Yet  these  same 
employers  would  not  dare  sit,  whilst  one  of  these  same 
girls  was  standing,  in  a  car  or  public  saloon,  for  fear  of 
being  hissed  by  the  public,  who  quietly  allow  innocent 
and  industrious  females  to  be  starved  or  driven  to  pros- 
titution, because  they  can  have  recourse  to  the  law  in 
the  matter  of  pay.  They  interfere  if  a  lubber  attempts 
to  make  a  female  stand  whilst  he  sits,  only  because 
there  is  no  law  in  that  case.  I  verily  believe,  that  if  the 
law  required  people  to  eat  three  meals  a  day,  they  would 
do  all  they  could  to  avoid  eating  more  than  two  ;  and  that 
if  a  law  was  made  to  enforce  the  civilties  between  ladies 
and  gentlemen,  the  coarsest  boorishness  would  soon  reign 
in  the  politest  circles, 

Unfashionable  mercenary  prostitution  not  thriving 
quite  so  well  as  we  wished  in  the  state  of  New  York,  we 
procured  a  law  for  the  preservation  of  chastity  ;  since 
when,  we  have  had  no  cause  to  complain.  In  the  space 
of  three  months,  during  one  of  our  business  suspensions, 
fifteen  hundred  chaste  girls,  in  the  single  city  of  New- 
York,  became  food  for  the  most  loathsome  disease  our 
efforts  have  ever  inflicted  on  the  human  race.  Thousands 
of  dollars,  by  means  of  this  law,  are  annually  extorted 
as  compromise-money,  from  beguiled  men,  by  females 
of  uncertain  character  ;  whilst  wily  debauches,  who  before 
dealt  mainly  with  lose  females,  now  ply  their  arts  among 
those  who  would  sooner  die  than  appear  in  court  against 
them. 

More  than  three  fourths  of  the  human  family  who 
have  arrived  at  the  age  of  maturity,  we  manage  to  keep 
quartered  on  real  producers  in  unproductive  idleness,  or 


22  HELL   ON   EARTH. 

worse  than  unproductive,  because  destructive,  or  dupli- 
cate labor.  The  bottom  of  the  ocean,  by  means  of  de- 
structive labor,  is  covered  with  the  products  of  productive 
industry,  and  unnecessarily  strewed  with  human  corpses. 
[Music.  Air.  "  Free  Trade  and  Sailor's  Rights"] 

The  substitute  for  justice  called  charity,  and  to  a  great 
extent  regulated  by  law,  more  than  any  thing  else,  fills 
.our  streets  with  beggars,  and  our  alms-houses  with  pau- 
pers. By  means  of  charity,  we  kill  three  birds  with  one 
stone.  We  degrade  a  very  large  portion  of  mankind 
below  all  hope  of  redemption,  pile  another  most  oppres- 
sive burden  on  producers,  and  cause  the  most  exquisitely 
villainous  speculation.  Oh,  what  enormous  sums,  raised 
for  the  perpetuation  of  pauperism,  stick  to  the  fingers  of 
those  intrusted  with  their  disbursement.  But  we  have, 
probably,  no  cause  to  rejoice  at  this  ;  for  the  money 
stolen,  undoubtedly  does  less  hurt  than  it  would  if  hon- 
estly laid  out  for  what  it  was  intended,  Scientifically 
managed,  a  tithe  of  what  is  now  spent  to  perpetuate 
human  degradation,  would  drive  it  from  the  world.  [_A 
priest.  "  Ay,  and  such  a  beginning  would  probably  be 
followed  up  by  that  which  would  eventually  drive  us 
and  the  Whited  Sepulcherites  from  existence.  But 
we'll  see  to  that,  fear  not."~\ 

I  might  go  through  the  whole  list  of  the  laws  we 
have  caused  to  be  made,  and  show  that,  without  excep- 
tion, they  produce  the  most  pernicious  effects,  and  gen- 
erally cause  results  exactly  the  reverse  of  those  ostensi- 
bly intended.  [General  laughter.  A  voice.  "Mr. 
President,  do  you  think  the  youngest  of  us  will  live  as 
long  as  it  would  take  to  go  through  with  a  list  of  all 
the  laws  which  have  ever  been  made?"] 

Well,  then,  let  us  amuse  ourselves  with  briefly  de- 
tailing a  few  of  the  practical  workings  of  these  laws. 

Not  five  per  cent  of  what  the  law  considers  murder 
is  ever  detected ;  about  one  in  ten  of  all  the  hanged 
know  nothing  respecting  the  perpetration  of  the  crime 
for  which  they  suffer  ;  more  than  one  half  the  victims  of 
the  gallows  are  morally  innocent,  and  but  an  infinitesi- 


HELL  ON   EARTH.  23 

mal  particle  of  what  really  is  murder  most  foul,  does  the 
law  consider  such. 

The  same  may  be  said  of   what  the   law  considers 
theft,    robbery,   forgery,    perjury,    or    any   other    crime. 
The  law  sanctions  the  perpetration  of  rape,  if  compelling 
females   to   embraces  they  loathe   is  rape  ;    and   crimes 
against   persons  are  hardly  ever  punished,  though    the 
unhappy  sufferers  by,  and  witnesses  to,  them,  are  fre- 
quently imprisoned  along  with  murderers.     Yet  consider 
the  vast  sums  the  dear,  good,  respectable  people  pay  for 
building  jails  and  prisons,  and  for  the  support  of  armies 
of  police  officers  and  prison  guards,  and  keepers.    [Hear. 
Hear^\     But  the  wholesale  slaughterers,  the  almost  ex- 
terminators of  mankind,  those  who  indirectly  clip  three 
fourths  or  more  from  the  length  of  human  life,*  and  spoil, 
with  sickness,  the  remainder,  the  law  to  prevent  murder 
takes   no  cognizance   of.     Military   adventurers.      Swill 
milk    dealers.      Distillers.      Quack    medicine   venders. 
Food  adulterators.     Air-tight  car,  lecture-room,  church, 
and  theatre  builders.     Corset  makers.     Pastry  and  other 
cooks.      Tobacconists.      The    manufacturers   of    almost 
every  thing,  in   the   manner  in  which  it  is  now  done. 
Morning  news  paper  proprietors,  many  of  whose  employees 
linger,  the  little  while  they  keep  some  life  in  them,  under 
ground.      Such  are   not  murderers,  but  on  the  contrary, 
very  respectable  and  worthy  people,  according   to  law. 
[Prolonged  laughter. ,] 

Imagine  a  coroner's  jury,  composed  of  swill-milk 
dealers,  consulting  a  day  or  two  over  the  body  of  one 
dead  infant,  to  determine  whether  or  not  its  mother  ought 
to  have  her  neck  broken  for  having,  rather  than  sacrifice 
the  value  of  her  whole  after  existence,  strangled  it  as 
soon  as  it  was  born.  This  is  vindicating  the  majesty 
of  the  law.  \_Greatglee.) 

To  pass  a  piece  of  paper  which  is  worth  nothing,  for 
whatever  value  may  be  written  or  printed  on  it,  is  con- 

*  It  has  been  scientifically  shown  that  man  now  gets  but  a  tithe  of 
his  rightful  and  possible  existence* 


24  HELL   ON  EAETH. 

sidered  forgery  "n  law,  and  highly  criminal.  But  we 
procure  to  be  performed,  in  that  line,  and  under  the  spe- 
cial sanction  of  law,  a  species  of  forgery  to  which  what 
is  called  such  is  mere  peccadillo. 

The  counterfeiter  unsanctioned  by  law  is  not  forced 
to  cheat  the  world  by  his  false  tokens,  unless  he  pleases. 
But  we  force  all  the  world  to  cheat  each  other  by  means 
of  tokens  which  are  so  nearly  allied  to  valueless  ones 
that  the  difference  is  but  infinitesimal.  If  all  the  so 
called  counterfeit  bills  in  existence  were  presented,  for 
payment  at  once,  there  would  be  no  gold  or  silver — no 
real  money,  with  which  to  redeem  them,  'tis  true.  Well, 
if  all  the  good  bills  [Laughter]  in  existence  were  pre- 
sented for  payment  at  once,  together  with  all  the  true 
notes  based  on  them  : — what  per  centage  of  real  money 
would  they  produce  ?  Barely  enough  to  make  the 
difference  between  the  smallest  particle  and  nothing  per- 
ceptible. 

But  this  is  not  half  the  villainy  of  respectable,  law- 
sanctioned  forgery.  By  inflating  the  currency  to  the 
verge  of  worthlessness,  a  system  of  credit  is  introduced 
which  inflicts  on  producers  an  army  of  superfluous  dis- 
tributors of  wealth,  who  convert  trade  into  a  species  of 
gambling,  fraught  with  consequences  infinitely  worse  than 
so  called  gambling  produces,  and  ending  in  universal 
bankruptcy  every  ten  or  fifteen  years ;  suddenly  and 
totally  depriving  producers  of  their  pitiful  means  of  keep- 
ing sensation  in  their  toil-worn  bodies. 

Goods  are  trusted  out  at  a  profit  calculated  so  as  to 
make  all  who  do  pay,  the  tools  for  sustaining  in  unpro- 
ductiveness a  very  large  army  of  those  who,  dishonestly 
will  not,  or  unluckily  cannot,  pay.*  So  the  would  be 
honest  trader,  if  he  has  any  brains,  except  in  the  organs 
of  smartness,  reason  thus  with  himself : — if  I  pay,  I  shall 
contribute  to  the  most  vicious  system  of  swindling  and 
oppression  of  labor  which  it  is  possible  to  invent,  besides 

*  Well-kept  statistics  show  that  85  out  of  every  100  traders  fail. 
That  is,  85  out  of  every  100  distributors  of  wealth  are  burdensome  im- 
positions on  producers. 


HELL   ON   EARTH.  25 

conniving  at  self-swindling.  If  I  do  no*  pay,  I  shall  feel 
like  a  sneak,  and  I  hardly  know  which  horn  of  the  di- 
lemma to  chose.  To  such  a  wretched  alternative  does 
the  law  reduce  those  who  would  be  honest  if  they  could. 
[Prolonged  cheering. ~\ 

When  the  grand  failure  comes,  however,  no  one  is 
expected  to  pay  unless  it  is  perfectly  convenient  so  to 
do.  Every  one  holds  on  to  what  he  has  got  trusted  for. 
Even  the  few  who  do  pay,  had  better  do  so  on  the  sly, 
lest  their  unfashionable  conduct  should  seem  a  reproach 
— an  insult — to  the  majority  of  their  brother  traders. 
And  if  any  one  actually  gives  up  all  he  has  to  his  credi- 
tors— if  a  trader  practices  but  the  same  honesty  which  the 
law  requires  of  thieves — he  is  laughed  at  as  an  idiot,  and 
those  he  so  scrupulously  pays,  consider  him  so  lacking 
in  business  capacity,  that  they  are  very  shy  of  ever  trust- 
ing him  again. 

A  thief,  is  required  to  do  without  food,  clothing  or 
lodging,  rather  than  take  any  thing  without  paying  for  it. 
But  the  man  who  can  add  perjury  to  the  crimes  of 
treachery,  ingratitude,  and  breach  of  confidence,  may 
keep  untold  wealth  without  paying  for  it,  get  elected  to  a 
judgeship,  and  be  surrounded  by  beauty,  fashion,  and 
respectability  too  refined  to  keep  company  with  those 
their  idol  has  impoverished.  [Cheering  loud  and 
long.} 

/Smart  traders,  say  those  who  trust  them,  sell  a 
great  many  goods  for  us  ;  on  which  we  have  made  such 
roaring  profits,  that  when  they  fail,  if  they  don't  pay 
more  than  ten  cents  on  the  dollar  on  what  they  then. 
owe,  we  have  still  made  roundly  by  their  ability  and 
sharpness.  But  as  for  the  idiot  who  impoverishes  him- 
self to  pay  all  he  owes,  he  is  too  honest  to  lie,  and  conse- 
quently sells  but  few  goods;  and  it  is  wonderful  that 
some  of  the  sharpers  had  not  lighted  him  of  every  cent 
before  it  reached  our  coffers,  So  we'll  not  trust  property 
in  Ms  hands  again. 

Permit  me  to  refer  again  to  our  master  stroke  of 
policy. 


26 

We  keep  science  in  disconnected  sections,  and,  above 
all,  strictly  confined  to  the  most  palpably  material. 
There  has  been  but  one  man,  among  the  friends  of  hu- 
manity, who  discovered  that  science  was  a  unity,  or 
rather  that  the  different  sciences  were  units  of  a  great 
whole,  extending  from  the  simplest  physics,  to,  and  in- 
-  eluding,  the  most  complicated — sociology.  Which  units, 
he  discovered  the  connection  of,  so  as  to  form  this  great 
whole,  and  by  that  means,  drew  thence  a  doctrine,  which, 
if  it  were  known  to,  and  understood  by,  the  leaders  of 
mankind,  and  adopted,  would  banish  Whited  Sepulcher- 
ism  from  existence,  and  perfect  humanity,  physically, 
intellectually,  and  morally.  Bat  the  great  positivist — 
the  organizer — the  scientific,  moral,  social  and  political 
architect,  is  dead,  and  with  Skrachfyre  we  hope.  [A. 
portrait  of  Augusts  Comte  was  now  produced  ;  and, 
to  test  whether  or  not  there  were  any  traitors  in  their 
own  ranks,  all  the  company  were  invited  to  trample  on 
it ;  the  priests  eagerly  scrutinizing  whether  every  one  did 
so  with  a  will}  Those  only  who  -have  a  well  balanced 
brain,  and  some  knowledge  of  the  technical  terms  of 
science,  can  read  his  work  understandingly.  And  if  any 
one  should  attempt  to  do  so  except  for  his  own  private 
amusement,  he  would  soon  find  himself  spoiled  as  the 
enemy  of  all  good.  [Prolonged  glee.  Music.  A.ir. 
"Folly  Rampant:"} 

Science,  as  now,  in  sections,  and  scrupulously  exclu- 
ded from  government  and  morals,  plays  almost  wholly 
into  our  hands.  For  instance  : — The  great  science  of 
chemistry  has  brought  into  use  a  thousand  deadly  drugs, 
which  are  almost  universally  supposed  to  be  health  resto- 
ratives. [Cheering '.] 

By  means  of  chemistry,  the  largest  portion  of  the 
material  for  the  staff  of  life  is  converted  into  liquid  dam- 
nation, which  is  sold  for  forty  cents  a  gallon,  to  be 
shipped  to  France,  whence  it  returns  in  the  guise  of 
Brandies  and  Wines  which  retail  for  from  four  to  seven 
dollars  per  gallon.  [Immense  applause.  Music, 
"  Oh.  the  Whiskey."} 


HELL  ON   EAETH.  27 

By  means  x>f  chemistry,  almost  every  article  of  food 
is  adulterated.  Even  milk  is  drugged  ;  or,  better  still, 
produced  from  cows  diseased  by  distillery  slops.  [After 
the  cheering,  which  was  uproarious,  the  music  struck 
iip  the  air  "  Swill  Milk  and  Paregoric,  "  and  all  who 
had  tuneful  voices  sung  an  anthem  to  pestilence,  com- 
mencing— 

"  Dig  more  graves  for  the  tiny  dead."* 

If  mankind  are  ever  educated  in  the  phenominal, 
connectedly  and  systematically,  their  leaders  will  draw 
thence  a  doctrine  exactly  the  reverse  of  that  which  has 
resulted  from  the  study  of  the  miraculous  and  supernatu- 
ral. It  will  be  discovered  that  the  world,  instead  of 
being  necessarily  a  "  vale  of  tears  "  a  "  fleeting  show  for 
man's  illusion  given,"  contains  all  the  raw  material  nec- 
essary for  producing  a  paradise  infinitely  superior  to 
any  thing  men,  in  their  now  gross  condition,  are  capable 
of  conceiving  with  any  degree  of  clearness.  With  man 
and  his  environment  perfected  to  the  utmost  capacity  of 
science  and  corresponding  art,  undue  want  would  cease, 
and  all  unnecessary  misery  (and  nearly  all  misery  is 
unnecessary)  would  end.  Of  course,  vice  would  find  no 
stimulous  or  inducement,  and  crime  would  be  no  more. 
[A  priest.  "  But  we'll  see  that  such  an  education 
shall  never  be  given.  We'll  keep  men's  eyes  so  riveted 
on  Heaven,  that  they'll  never  know  enough  of  earth  to 
dream  of  the  possibility  of  materialistic  morality  or 
law.  We'll  stun  their  senses  with  our  holy  mysteries, 
as  hunters  stun  the  acute  sense  of  hearing  in  partridges, 
with  drums  and  dogs,  ,so  that  the  poor  bewildered  birds 
remain  as  if  spell-bound  on  their  perches,  ''til  they  be- 

*0f  all  the  children  born  in  cities,  more  than  half  die  before 
they  are  ten  years  old.  We  bow  submissively  to  the  will  of  our  hea- 
venly Father,  who  both  "  gives  and  takes  away,"  and  enquire  no  further 
into  the  cause.  We  don't  even  ask  why  our  Heavenly  Father  thus 
afflicts  only  those  of  his  creatures  who  belong  to  the  race  of  his  wor- 
shippers !  Animals,  below  man,  especially  wild  ones,  have  few  diseases  ; 
and  death,  except  by  violence,  among  the  young,  is  all  but  unknown. 


28  HELL   ON    EAETH. 

come  the  prey  of  those  who  could  not  have  approached, 
them,  by  other  means '."] 

I  tremble  when  I  see  men  willing  to  pay  for  the 
science,  time  and  attention,  it  takes  to  make  horses  ele- 
gant and  useful,  and  even  conceding  that  to  make  these 
animals  as  valuable  as  they  are  capable  of  being,  requires 
a  knowledge  of  so  many  sciences,  as  often  to  absorb  the 
whole  time  of  those  who  thus  dignify  horse-education. 

How  is  it  possible,  that,  not  only  the  multitude,  but 
those  who  profess  to  be  reasoners,  can  remain  blind  to 
the  glaring  truth,  that  to  perfect  man's  liberty,  goodness, 
and  happiness,  requires  his  perfection,  and  that  of  his 
environment  ?  and  that  this  can  be  achieved  only  through 
science,  which  requires  the  time  and  attention,  Avhich  can 
be  but  very  imperfectly  devoted  to  it  by  those  engaged 
in  ordinary  pursuits  ? 

Negativists  think  they  have  achieved  perfection,  in 
getting  rid  of  the  coarsest  portion  of  the  errors  we  fasten 
on  them  in  childhood.  And,  indeed,  this  is  rather  an 
uncommon  mental  feat,  and  exhausts  all  the  power  we 
have  left  the  mental  faculties,  in  most  instances. 

The  man  who  makes  the  perfection  of  horses  a  scien- 
tific profession,  is  listened  to  with  respect,  and  without 
suspicion,  and  willingly  and  bountifully  paid  for  devoting 
his  time  to  his  calling.  Whilst  those  who  dare  hint, 
at  making  the  perfection  of  man,  on  earth,  a  scientific 
profession,  are  immediately  suspected  of  being  "aristo- 
crats," unfriendly  to  self-government.  It  is  mean,  insul- 
ting, and  venal,  for  them  to  think  to  make  a  living  by 
their  profession.  "  Aint  the  people  capable  of  governing 
themselves  in  this  free  country  V"  Yet  men  would  con- 
sider it  the  height  of  folly  to  have  the  educators  or  gover- 
nors of  horses  elected  from  the  crowd,  by  a  majority  of 
votes.  They  can  readily  see  that  such  a  method  would 
degenerate  the  best  bloods  to  scrubby,  worthless  mus- 
tangs, and  keep  them  such. 

Why  do  men  not  see  that  the  election  method  keeps 
them  the  miserables  they  are  ?  Why  can  they  not  see 
that  science  is  as  requisite  to  their  perfection,  as  to  that 


HELL  ON   EARTH.  29 

of  horses,  cattle,  and  even  vegetables  ?  and  that  if  they 
cannot,  whilst  engaged  in  other  avocations,  attend  to 
the  science  necessary  to  perfect  horses,  how  much  less 
can  they  thus  attend  to  the  science  necessary  to  perfect 
themselves  ? 

In  short,  why  must  horses,  cattle,  and  even  vegeta- 
bles, be  honoured  with  scientific  leadership,  whilst  man 
is  degraded  to  being  led  by  the  nose  by  low,  swindling, 
tricky,  ignorant  demagogues  ?  [A  Priest.  "  We  know 
why."] 

But  vegetables  and  beasts  have  only  to  be  perfected 
materially  and  physiologically,  suggest  some  bipeds,  to 
whom  I  daily  fear  some  one  will  effectually  reply ; — 
make  man  and  his  environment  as  perfect  as  possible  by 
means  of  science,  and  then,  how  can  he  be  other  than 
morally  good  and  virtuous  ?  And  if  man  is  not,  like 
every  thing  else,  to  become  as  perfect  as  it  can  be  theo- 
retically shown  he  is  capable  of  becoming,  does  he  not 
belong  to  the  lowest,  instead  of  the  highest,  order  of 
existence  ?  [A  priest.  I  should' nt  fear  to  have  all 
you  have  said  proclaimed  on  the  house-top.  Jfy  breth- 
ren are  needlessly  afraid  of  infidelity.  All  which  rea- 
son can  suggest  to  theologically -trained,  forty -year-old 
babies,  will  be  as  residtless,  as  attempts  to  straighten  a 
forest  of  crooked  trees :"] 

We  have  converted  an  immense  number  of  the  hu- 
man race  to  chattel-slaves,  and  made  all  the  hired  labor- 
ers so  miserable,  that  it  is  impossible  to  decide  which 
have  the  most  uncomfortable  time  of  it, — the  wages- 
slaves,  or  the  chattel-slaves.  We  contrive,  also,  to  pro- 
vide both  species  of  slaves  with  a  good  share  of  mental 
misery,  in  the  shape  of  envy.  The  poor  never  dream 
tli at  the  rich  are  as  miserable  as  they  are  wretched. 
That  if  the  poor  are  a  prey  to  want,  the  rich  are  tor- 
mented with  care,  anxiety,  and  killing  en-nui.  If  the 
miserable  rich,  refuse,  at  any  time,  to  pay  all  we  de- 
mand for  keeping  starving  desperation  from  assailing 
them,  we  can  let  them  be  robbed,  and  share  the  plunder. 


30  HELL   ON  EARTH. 

The  poor  are  ever  watching  an  opportunity  to  mob  and 
despoil  the  rich  ;  nor,  without  our  aid,  can  they  always 
be  conciliated  by  soup  or  alms. 

In  concluding,  let  us  concentrate  our  delight,  by  re- 
viewing our  success-crowned  efforts  at  a  glance: — 

We  have  made  those  science  would  redeem,  do  all 
in  their  power  to  kill  their  saviour  in  his  infancy.  They 
mock  and  buffet  him,  and  whenever  he  attempts  to  show 
his  head,  with  what  sharp  thorns  do  they  crown  it ;  and 
put  to  open  shame,  him,  who  would  gather  and  combine 
them.  We  have  made  man  not  only  as  miserable  as  he 
can  be,  but  so  all  but  totally  depraved,  that  he  not  only 
puts  his  saviour  hors  de  condition  to  do  him  any  good, 
but  rejects  him  for  the  veriest  Barabas,  the  merest  sham, 
the  ne  plus  ultra  of  an  impostor.  Such  an  impostor, 
that  he  promises  man  happiness  only  after  death.  Suph 
a  sham,  that  the  best  thing  he  professes  to  be  able  to 
give  them  in  this  world  is  Democracy.  [Laughter  loud 
and  long^\  Yes  ;  free  elective  government.  And  how 
comfortable  a  thing  this  precious  freedom,  which  cost  so 
much  blood  to  get,  and  requires  so  much  treasure  to 
maintain,  is,  we  may  see  from  the  fact,  that  if  Monarchy 
gives  man  a  sprinkling  of  law,  Democracy  deluges  him 
with  it.  If,  in  Monarchy,  law  is  inflicted  by  those  who 
arrogantly  claim  the  right  to  a  monopoly  of  its  manu- 
facture, in  Democracy  it  is  manufactured  by  those  who 
receive  their  patent  from  the  lowest,  most  ignorant,  and 
most  vicious  of  the  populace.  In  short : — 

We  have  extended  from  the  remotest  antiquity  into 
the  middle  of  the  nineteenth  century,  a  low,  barbarous, 
and  degrading  superstition,  in  monstrous  contrast  with, 
and  antagonistic  to,  material  science,  and  preventive  of, 
sociological  science.  We  thus  keep  man  as  contemptible, 
ridiculous,  miserable,  and  depraved,  as  he  possibly  can 
be,  though  surrounded  by,  and  even  a  part  of,  that  na- 
ture, which,  if  looked  to,  and  depended  on,  and  scientifi- 
cally developed,  instead  of  being  despised  for  phantoms 
"  beyond  the  skies,"  would  make  him  perfectly  free,  per- 


HELL   ON   EARTH.  31 

fectly  good,  and  perfectly  happy.     What  can  concentrated 
evil — -Whited  Sepulcherism,  mo^e  ?  * 

*  Tiie  abuses  of  civilization  and  science,  made  even  Rousseau  sigh 
for  primitive  simplicity,  and  its  fancied  happiness. 

The  road  from  savag^ism  througk  civilization  to  positivism — lies 
through  mystery  and  slavery.  Man,  'til  he  reaches  that  perfect  state 
when  right  will  be  its  own  incentive,  ne>;ds,  and  will  have,  the  spur  of 
bodily  misery,  or  the  equally  sharp  and  impelling  goad  of  mental  anguish, 
and  ennui,  to  force  him  on  to  his  destiny. 

Gobbet,  in  his  History  of  the  Reformation,  has  shown  that  the  mass 
of  the  people  are  more  miserable  under  Monarciiy  than  they  were  during 
the  middle  ages,  when  governed  by  theocracy  or  sacerdotal  despotism. 
Other  things  being  equal,  mankind  aro  as  much  worse  ofl  under  Demo- 
cracy than  under  Monarchy,  as  the  tyranny  of  a  few  is  more  onerous 
than  fiat  of  th }  rn  ijority.  The  fact,  that  mis  :ry  and  ennui  increases,  as 
civilization  alvancjs,  is  so  appa  ent,  that  superficial  thinkers  abandon 
iheir  hop's  of  ma;i  0:1  the  very  grounds  on  wh'ch  they  ought  to  found 
them.  Misery  anil  ennui  spur  man  on  to  where  lie  will  be  free  from 
them. 

But  if  our  half  civilization  produces  miseries  unknown  to  savage- 
ism,  th's  docs  not  prevent  its  also  producing  pleasures  unenjoyed  by 
man  in  a  state  of  natural  simplicity. 

Do  philosophers  know  what  they  mean,  when  they  laud,  and  sigh 
after,  that  nature  from  which  man  has  departed  1  I  admire,  prospec- 
tively,  of  course,  that  n  iture,  to  which  man  is  lo  arrive,  guided  by  na- 
ture's accomplishes  science,  itself  but  nature. 

I  have  seen,  and  studied,  man,  in  his  primitive,  wild,  simplicity,  and 
found  him.  in  t'.ie  main,  but  as  savage  and  cruel  as  he  was  ignorant; 
and  were  this  not  so,  ignorance  would  be  on  a  par  with  knowledge. 
True,  civilization  has.  as  yet,  not  muck  improved  man,  in  the  main  ; 
but  its  w. irk  is  not  ac:ompl>she  I ;  consequently,  the  result  is  only  per- 
ceptible to  the  eye  or  the  scientific  seer. 

Savageism  is  a  condition  scarcely  worth  living  in ;  and  if  it  were 
ever  so  desirable,  man  can  no  more  return  to  it,  than  the  youth  can  go 
back  to  flwwhood.  Each  time  Democracy  becomes  so  unbearable  that 
man  retreats  back  to  Monarchy  for  respite,  he  touches  the  latter  lighter 
and  lighter.  There  are  some  oscilatory  exceptions,  but  this  is  the  rule. 
By  and  by,  revolution  will  follow  revolution  in  such  quick  succession, 
that  man  will  gain  little  repose  in  Monarchy,  which  he  will  finally  not 
touch,  and  have  no  alternative  to  the  despotism  of  the  ignorant  and 
licentious  majority  but  positivism,  which  alone  can  make  him  free  ;  and 
up  to  which,  he  will  ba,  with  few  exceptions,  and  som3  short  intervals  of 
respite,  but  more  and  more  wretched,  and  more  and  more  a  slave. 

Democracy,  cut  adrift  from  the  merit  which  circumstances  often 
force  to  found  it,  and  fully  developed,  is  the  tyranny  of  the  necessarily 
ignorant  many.  Theocracy  is  the  germ  of  leadership.  Monarchy 
"faintly  shadows  forth  that  leadership  should  be  scientific.  But  Demo- 
cracy puts  the  tail  before  the  head,  has  no  type  in  nature,  and  is  a  lie 


32  HELL   ON   EAETH. 

I  had  all  along  observed,'  that  the  satisfaction  the 
orator  drew  t'rom  his  contrasts,  was  not  unalloyed.  Also, 
that  his  auditors  showed  signs  of  not  feeling  quite  so  con- 
tented and  easy  as  they  wished  to. 

Instead  of  demonstrations  of  delight,  a  look  of  des- 
pair suddenly  darkened  the  countenances  of  both  speaker 
and  hearers,  as  when  a  tempest-freighted  cloud  hurriedly 
obscures  a  summer  sky.  The  president  paused  a  mo- 
ment, and  then,  in  a  voice  changed  from  a  very  full  to  a 
dismally  hollow  tone,  thus  resumed  : — 

But  what  have  I  confessed  ?  Nature,  in  and  around 
man,  contains  all  the  means  requisite  for  his  perfection. 
She  will  surely  use  those  means.  She  possesses  no 
vain,  no  idle  power.  None  she  never  will  use.  As  surely 
as  exist  all  the  conditions,  though  undeveloped, — all  the 
causes,  though  in  embryo,  necessary  to  the  production  of 
any  effect,  such  effect  has  been,  or  will  be  produced. 

In  Democracy,  'too,  I  plainly  see,  we  have  given  man 
9,  goad  so  unendurable,  that  it  will  spur  him  on  to 
quicker  and  quicker  change,  or  revolution,  and  consequent 
enlargement  of  his  sphere,  'til  it  will  bring  him  within 
that  of  positivism.  Yes,  at  each  revolution  he  quickens 
his  passage  through  his  perihelion,  absolutism,  and  nears 
more  and  more  its  outward  verge,  'til  finally  he  will  entirely 
clear  both  absolutism  and  Democracy. 

We  have  done  all  but  the  impossible.  We  have 
insulted  nature  even  to  the  extent  of  attempting  to  de- 

throughout.  Its  ministers  are  charlatans,  quacks,  and  the  most  execra- 
ble villains,  robbers,  swindlers  and  cheats.  All  the  parties  which  com- 
pose Democracy  unqualifiedly  affirm  this  of  each  other.  I  most  heartily 
approve  their  verdict,  and  on  this  most  vital  point,  sincerely  honour 
their  judgment. 

The  United  States,  owing  to  its  unbounded  natural  advantages,  can 
stand  the  tyranny  of  Democracy  a  great  while.  England  has  established 
such  a  counterbalancing  status  quo  between  Democracy  and  Despotism, 
that  quiet  is  almost  as  stereotyped  there  as  in  India  by  the  castes.  But 
the  quiet  of  England  is  on  a  much  higher  bed,  and  the  turbulence  of 
popular  rule  is,  thouirh  almost  imperceptibly,  stealing  over  it.  When 
this  gets  the  ascendant.  Democracy  will  make  the  whole  continent  of 
Europe  caper  to  its  lashing  'til  it  drives  it  into  scientific  government. 
Then,  farewell  forever  to  mystery  and  demagogism. 


HELL  ON   EAETH.  33 

throne  her.     Nay,  we  have  apparently  succeeded  in  sub- 
jecting her  to  the  government  of  a  supernatural  monster. 

But  this  must  end.  The  temple  of  natural,  material- 
istic science  already  exists.  Its  walls  are  formed  of  the 
simpler  and  more  palpably  material  sciences,  and  its  roof, 
composed  of  materialistic  moral,  political  and  intellectual 
science — Sociology,  crowns  it,  and  awaits  but  man's  en- 
trance. 

All  the  capacities  of  nature  must  be  developed. 
What  is  in  her  womb  must  be  born  in  spite  of  even  us. 

'Tis  but  a  question  of  time  when  mystery  must  give 
place  to  positivism.  The  order  of  the  evolution  of  the 
material  sciences,  has  been  discovered  and  demonstrated ; 
the  theory  of  their  connection  is  plainly  and  indisputa- 
bly before  the  world;  positive,  moral  and  intellectual 
science,  it  is  now  clear,  is  but  their  extension  and  per- 
fection. The  earth,  instead  of  "beyond  the  skies,"  will 
soon  be  the  object  of  man's  affections,  and  the  foundation 
of  all  his  hopes. '  Whited  Sepulcherism  is  doomed ! 

The  birth-qualification  to  govern,  is  worn  out,  and 
long  since  condemned.  Its  Democratic  substitute  has 
been  tried  over  and  over,  again  and  again,  and  as  often 
found  a  complete  failure.  Political  demagogues  and  mo- 
ral quacks  have  alone  profited  by  it,  and  it  is  fast  getting 
into  worse  odor  than  its  predecessor. 

Improvement,  though  it  oscillates,  has  an  onward 
course,  in  the  main  ;  and,  notwithstanding  appearances 
to  the  short  sighted,  there  is  progress. 

Science  is  about  to  become  a  connected,  organized 
guide — a  ruler.  Nature,  long  in  labor  with  the  body  of 
man's  saviour,  gives  unrnistakeable  proofs  that  his  head 
has  undergone  parturition.  Wise  men  are  preparing  to 
tender  their  allegiance  to  a  king  to  whose  government 
there  shall  be  no  end  ;  to  present  to  a  redeemed  world,  a 
sa\7iour  worthy  their  eternal  adoration. 

Labor-saving  machinery  will  not  much  longer  in- 
crease the  splendid  misery  of  the  rich,  and  the  squalid 
wretchedness  of  the  poor.  Labor,  capital  and  skill,  so 
long  deadly  foes,  are  about  to  enter  into  copartnership. 
[A  fearful  ti/jer  for  Fawner.'}  The  old,  effete,  morbific, 


34  HELL   ON  EARTH. 

must  pass  away,  despite  our  efforts  to  retain  their  fester- 
ing rottenness,  and  all  will  become  new.  We,  too,  shall 
be  abhorred,  detested,  hated,  loathed,  despised — oh,  how 
much  more  intensely  than  we  are  now  respected  and 
loved.  We,  the  scourges  of  our  race,  with  none  so 
"  poor  in  spirit "  as  to  do  us  reverence,  must  give  way 
to  its  benefactors.  Our  names,  associated  as  they  will 
be  with  our  deeds  of  darkness,  will  stink  in  the  nostrils 
of  the  latest  posterity,  infinitely  worse,  than  will  those 
of  our  predecessors.  For  mankind's  first  deceivers  nec- 
essarily taught  their  victims  the  rudiments  of  civiliza- 
tion. But  we  have  done  alt  in  our  power  to  prevent  man 
from  progressing  beyond  the  mere  initiatory  of  enlighten- 
ment. 

Man's  ecCrthly  redemption  is  inevitable.  It  might 
have  happened  in  our  day,  had  he,  whose  portrait  we 
have  just  trampled  on,  been  twenty  years  younger,  and 
had  a  few  capitalists  been  Girards.  It  will,  it  must 
corne,  whenever  the  leaders  of  mankind,  or  a  majority 
of  them,  shall  study  and  understand  the  crowning  science 
which  he  has  expounded,  and  without  which,  fractional 
science  is  nearly  useless,  and  much  of  it  pernicious. 

Yes,  materialistic  moral,  political  and  intellectual 
science — sociology — must  sweep  moral,  political,  and  so- 
cial charlatanry  from  the  world.  The  towering  pyramid 
of  human  folly  and  misery  which  we  have  reared  must 
tumble,  crushing  and  burying  us  in  its  ruins. 

We  had  nothing  to  fear  from  science,  so  long  as  it 
existed  only  in  parts,  like  the  fabled  temple  of  Solomon, 
ere  it  was  put  together.  But  the  great  architect  came, 
who  adjusted,  fitted,  and  connected  those  parts,  and  of 
them  built  the  walls  of  the  great  temple  of  science.  Even 
this,  we  might  have  snapped  our  fingers  at,  for  what 
useful  purpose  could  a  roofless  building  serve  ?  Within 
its  walls,  mankind  would  not  have  been  sheltered  from 
our  malice.  We  could  there  have  deluged  them  with 
evil  as  easily  as  in  the  open  field.  Nay,  those  very 
walls  have  often  furnished  us  with  missiles  for  the  de- 
voted heads  of  those  trusting  to  their  shelter. 

But  the  great  master    builder  knew  more  than  how 


HELL    ON    EARTH.  35 

to  put  together  the  parts  which  others  had  prepared. 
He  completed  the  temple  of 

SCIENCE  AND  LIBERTY, 

[  Terific  Groaning, ,] 

by  crowning  it  with  a  sociological  roof,  beneath  which, 
humanity  will  inevitably  find  a  sure  refuge  from  all  our 
machinations. 

Oh,  let  me  not  live  to  see  the  day  when  science  shall 
include  intellectuality — when  moral  shall  be  based  on 
physical  law,  and  when  the  expounders  of  the  whole, 
shall  be  the  leaders  of  redeemed  mankind.  Ere  this,  in 
earth's  remotest  centre,  be  my  memory  buried. 

I  have  visited  mad-houses,  and  heard  the  fearful  rav- 
ings of  the  most  hopeless  maniacs.  But  never  befoie 
had  I  witnessed  any  thing  approximating  to  the  horror, 
despair,  and  mental  anguish  which  was  depicted  in  the 
countenances  of  these  demoniacs,  during  the  concluding 
part  of  the  speech  of  their  infernal  orator. 

I  have  penned  all  I  could  make  out  of  his  concluding 
words.  But  he  continued  his  attempts,  even  after  his 
voice  was  so  dry,  husky,  hollow  and  indistinct  that  it 
seemed  to  come  through  a  throat  and  lungs,  and  from  a 
tongue  parched  by  the  very  flames  of  Hell. 

At  length  he  sank  exhausted  into  his  seat ;  his  eyes 
showed  only  their  bloodshotten  whites  ;  he  breathed 
most  laboriously.  One  instant  I  could  hear  his  clenched 
teeth  grit ;  then  his  jaws  were  horribly  distended. 
His  hands  were  now  clenched,  now  spread  as  though 
the  fingers  were  drawn  backwards,  and  every  muscle~and 
chord  visible,  gave  signs  of  the  intensest  agony. 

The  audience  glared  at  each  other  like  damned  spir- 
its in  the  infernal  regions.  Every  moment  I  expected 
to  see  them  clawing  out  each  other's  bowels,  tearing  cut 
each  other's  eyes,  gnashing  each  other  with  their  teeth, 
or  even,  in  the  fury  o'f  their  mad  despair,  venting  their 
rage  on  themselves. 

I  could  endure  no  more  ;  so  I  tottered  away,  appa- 
rently without  being  observed. 


36  HELL  ON   EAETH. 


PRACTICAL  MEANS  FOR  THE  EXTERMINA- 
TION OF  WHITED  SEPULCHERISM. 

By  exposing  the  wiles  and  abominations  of  a  craft 
which,  by  means  of  a  savage  superstition,  crushes  the 
nineteenth  century  almost  back  to  middle-age  barbarism, 
makes  moral  cannibalism  dainty,  and  every  crime  re- 
spectable by  virtue  of  its  magnitude,  I  have  done  man- 
kind a  service,  for  which  I  shall  be  sufficiently  rewarded 
by  my  reflections,  notwithstanding  the  consciousness  of 
peril,  should  any  of  the  innumerable  spies  and  toadies 
of  the  infernal  brotherhood  find  out  to  whom  they  are 
indebted  for  this  turn. 

True,  the  attention,  during  the  twenty-eight  years 
I  have  devoted  to  this  task,  might,  otherwise  directed, 
in  all  probability,  have  procured  me  the  enjoyment  of 
all  the  splendid  miseries,  fashionable  vexations,  disap- 
pointments, and  ennui  of  an  upper  tendom  palace. 
But  still,  I  am  self-satisfied,  though  in  such  a  modest 
cottage  that  I  am  deprived  of.  the  inestimable  society  of 
parvenus,  whose  gaud  and  glare  astonish  man,  pro- 
visionally captivates  woman,  and  excites  the  envy  of 
the  million.  But  to  rny  proposition  : — 

The  mass  of  mankind  really  want  tangible  results. 
First,  the  useful.  Second,  the  amusing.  For  these, 
they  have  always  had  a  natural,  common-sense,  instinc-' 
tive  feeling  of  the  necessity  of  depending  on  the  few — on 
leaders  possessed  of  knowledge  beyond  popular  reach. 
Nor  has  even  so  monstrous  and  unnatural  a  thing  as 
Democracy  been  able  to  eradicate  this  feeling,  but  only 
to  suspend  it,  and  for  short  intervals. 

Science  has  not,  until  recently,  seen  how  to  satisfy 
humanity's  great  need  ;  and,  naturally  modest,  it  has  not 
pretended  to  be  able  to  do  more  than  it  was  conscious 
it  could  perform.  In  the  mean  time,  blind  mystery  has 
misled,  and  impudent  quackery  abused,  the  confidence 
which  man  has  been  impelled  by  a  law  of  his  nature, 
to  repose  somewhere.  Mankind  have  been  so  long 


HELL   ON   EARTH.  37 

governed  by  unskilful  or  unworthy  leaders,  that  even 
after  they  rind  they  have  been  but  wandering  in  error, 
it  will  take  some  time  to  get  over  their  suspicion,  that 
leadership  originated  error  ;  and  to  be  convinced,  that 
until  scientific  leadership  was  possible,  error  was  their 
only  alternative ;  and  being  led  about  in  it  served  the 
invaluable  purpose  of  preserving  organization  and  leader- 
ship, without  which,  instead  of  progressing  even  after 
they  shall  have  found  the  right  way,  they  would  mope 
back  to  dark  savageism.  Thus,  error  and  knavery  have 
furnished  the  means — leadership  and  organization — of 
their  own  overthrow,  and  of  man's  scientific  redemp- 
tion. 

Whilst  the  leaders  of  mankind  remain  the  blind  apos- 
tles of  the  unconditioned,  the  confidence  the  masses  place 
in  them  must  necessarily  be  blind  and  unconditioned. 

But  men  will  follow  their  positivislic  leaders  under- 
standingly,  and  with  eyes  wide  open  as  to  results. 
The  what,  people  will  judge  of.  The  how,  they  will 
leave  altogether  to  their  leaders,  as  they  always  have 
done  in  more  palpably  material  affairs.  The  sociological 
artificer  will  differ  from  others,  only  in  the  encyclopedic 
magnitude  of  his  calling. 

Whilst  men  can  see  that  single  sciences  require,  for 
their  elaboration,  often  a  life-time,  they  think  sociology, 
because  it  concerns  all,  must  be  of  such  a  nature  that 
every  one  is  competent  for  it.  They  cannot  suppose 
the  "  pedant  they  have  placed  on  the  throne  of  the  uni- 
verse "  would  allow  that  somet/dng-or-other  which  con- 
cerns all  to  be  understood  only  by  a  few,  and  alter 
"long  and  difficult  elaboration."  But  many  of  the  simp- 
ler sciences  glaringly  affect  all,  and  yet  are  acknowledged 
to  be  understood  but  by  those  who  make  them  their 
study,  and  often  their  business. 

When  men  shall  see  that  sociology — government,  in- 
cludes all  science,  and  that  science  is  but  a  headless 
trunk  without  sociology,  they  will  realize  how  exquisitely 
they  have  been  humbugged  by  the  "  elective  franchise." 

The  sociological  artificer  will  be  required  to  perfect, 


38  HELL  ON   EARTH. 

as  fast  as  possible,  both  human  and  external,  physiolo- 
gical and  physical  nature.  In  proportion  as  the  material 
and  physiological  is  explored — understood,  the  material- 
istic— social — moral — must  improve.  If  all  nature,  includ- 
ing human,  was  but  as  psrfect  as  it  is  capable  of  being 
made  by  science,  no  vice,  or  sin,  and  but  very  little,  if 
any,  evil  could  exist.  Death  itself  would  be  but  the 
natural  decay  necessary  to  distinguish,  or  manifest 
life. 

All  the  while  the  identity  of  the  sensuous  being  ex- 
ists, such  being  constantly  rejects,  because  it  has  fulfilled 
its  function,  what  it  but  just  before  cherished  as  its  life ; 
and  identity  itself,  will  finally,  when  man  shall  live  his 
scientifically  natural  term,  become  worn  out — tiresome, 
and  will  willingly  be  parted  with. 

Those  who  have  thus  far  read  these  pages,  will  no 
longer  wonder  at  the  amount  and  enormity  of  crime,  and 
will  see  that  only  in  proportion  as  Whited  Sepulcherism 
can  be  displaced  by  positivism,  can  "  man's  inhumanity 
to  man"  be  prevented,  or  but  infinitesimally  punished. 
Except  in  proportion  as  organized  science  can  displace 
organized  murder,  rape,  robbery  and  canibalism,  can  man- 
kind gain  any  thing. 

Yes,  even  Democracy — organization  to  destroy  organi- 
zation— life  leagued  with  death  to  destroy  life — leadership 
to    abolish     leadership  —  and    nonsense    systematically 
taught,  is  better  than  the  stone  dead  lack  of  organization, 
•  leadership,  life,  which  negativism  would  produce. 

To  positivistic  organizers  alone  must  be  intrusted  the 
task  of  ridding  the  world  of  the  impostors  and  ignoramuses 
who  now  govern  it  by  means  of  flattering  it  that  it  gov- 
erns itself  through  the  elective  franchise.  The  praetical 
question  is,  how  are  positivistic  organizers  to  be  consti- 
tuted ?  and  how  are  they  to  begin  their  work  ?  This, 
the  encyclopedic  nature  of  positivistic  sociology  precludes 
my  doing  more  than  hint  at.  All  that  is  now  certain 
is,  that  we  have  found  a  new  and  infinitely  superior 
world  for  the  human  race,  the  minute  geography  ol 


HELL  ON  EARTH.  39 

which  exploration  by  its  scientific  discoverers  and  their 
successors  can  alone  determine  as  they  proceed. 

Science,  supported  by  a  few  enlightened  capitalists, 
might  begin  the  work  of  human  redemption,  and  I  will 
opine  ho\v,  after  one  more  remark : — Hard-shell  protes- 
tants — inridels — serve  a  useful  purpose,  after  all,  which 
it  would  be  doing  them  gross  injustice  not  to  acknowl- 
edge. They  cause  positivistic  organizers  to  redouble 
their  efforts,  lest  mankind  should  be  disgregated  back  to 
savageism. 

SCIENTIFIC  REDEMPTION. 

ACT  I. 

SCENE  I.  A  Sunday  *  Soire  in  Upper  Tendom,  at 
which  many  intelligent  poor,  but  no  MERELY  rich,  are 
present. 

MRS.  A.  How  did  you  like  the  sermon,  we  heard  to- 
day, Miss  B.  ? 

Miss  B.  Sermon,  Mrs.  A.?  it  was  more  like  an  ora- 
tion ;  or  a  lecture  on  science.  I  could  hardly  believe  I 
was  in  church. 

*  The  late  clerical  assemblage,  in  New-York,  to  promote  the  super- 
stitious observance  of  "the  Sabbath,"  betrayed  a  consciousness  of  being 
engaged  in  not  only  a  bad,  but  rapidly  declining  cause,  There  was 
evident  wincing  and  writhing  under  something  "  of  great  pith  and  mo- 
ment "  to  be  both  said  and  done,  without  daring  either. 

Sir  Matthew  Hales  and  their  backers,  alack  and  alas,  are  all  but  phan- 
toms, fast  receding  from  the  "  aching  sight "  of  these  veritable  Cotton 
Mathers. 

One  fact  was  incautiously  stated  at  this  meeting,  which  I  beg 
Sabbathites  not  to  let  go  in  at  one  ear,  and  pass  out  through  the  other, 
without  stopping  : — 

Sunday,  in  Paris  and  Vienna,  is  a  day  when  labor  does  "  brea^e 
more  freely  "  than  in  shops  or  churches :  and  as  man  needs  it  "  physi- 
cally," he  uses  it  thus*  Yet,  in  neither  of  those  cities  is  crime  so  ram- 
pant, on  Sunday,  as  in  New-York,  with  its  busines  suspended,  nearly 
all  its  places  of  amusement  closed,  its  brothels  unlicensed  and  under 
Ipgal  ban.  half,  and  sometimes  all,  its  rum-holes  shut  up,  but  with 
ITS  GOSPEL  SHOPS  ALL  IN  PULL  BLAST! 


40  HELL   ON   EARTH. 

MR.  A.  And  the  new  edifice,  Miss  B.  ;  don't  you 
think  the  superiority  of  its  architecture  corresponds  to 
the  excellence  of  the  preaching  ? 

Miss  B.  Well,  Mr.  A.,  the  hall  in  which  the  con- 
gregation assembled  is  perfect,  and  the  whole  edifice,  to 
my  thinking,  is  magnificent  ;  and  oh,  how  completely 
and  ingeniously  ventilated.  But  what  is  the  use  of  all 
those  smaller  halls,  your  munificence,  and  that  of  a  few 
others,  caused  to  be  included  in  a  church  ? 

MR.  A.  All  will  be  explained  by  my  colleagues 
and  myself,  according  to  promise  ;  or,  failing  to  do  so 
satisfactorily,  we  shall  buy  out  the  rest  of  the  stock- 
holders. Next  Sunday,  we  are  to  have  the  use  of  the 
whole  building,  in  which  to  make  this  explanation,  practi- 
cally. 

MR.  B.  Not  long  since,  in  this  country,  we  might 
have  been  subjected  to  the  discipline  of  the  stocks,  for 
holding  such  an  unsanctified  meeting  as  this  on  Sunday 
— beg  pardon,  Sabbath  evening.  [Laughter.  The  com- 
pany draw  round  attentively^ 

MR.  A.  Well,  every  generation  grows  wiser  than 
the  preceding  one.  '  Our  pastor  has  evidently  received  a 
scientific,  rather  than  a  theological  education.  Ladies 
and  Gentlemen,  who  of  you  would  like  to  have  Sunday 
devoted  altogether  to  science,  amusement,  and  rational 
education,  both  physical  and  moral.  To  have  the  bud- 
ding intellectual  faculties  of  children  exercised  and  ex- 
panded by  something,  rather  than  contracted  over,  and 
to,  nothing. 

Nearly  All. —  I. 

MR.  A.  I  thought  so.  I  am  an  old  church-mem- 
ber, and  have  selected  and  invited  here,  this  evening, 
those  of  our  communion  whom  I  believed  would  second 
my  views.  We  have  had  downward-levelling,  destruc- 
tive, "fought-bled-and- died"  revolution,  to  surfeiting; 
and  with  such  results,  that  we  need  not  fear  to  risk  the 
experiment  of  upward,  constructive,  peaceful  revolution. 
Besides,  I  am  for  adding  another  religion  to  the  numerous 
ones  already  in  existence,  whose  creed  shall  be  founded 


HELL  ON   EAETH.  41 

on  the  known  or  comprehensible — the  phenomenal — the 
positive.  Whose  priests  shall  make  it  their  study  to  im- 
prove our  bodies  and  their  environment,  and  to  amuse 
us,  and  instruct  our  children  in  the  practically  useful, 
and  attend  to  their  exercise,  development,  training  and 
amusements.  I  have  consulted  a  certain  clergyman  on 
the  subject,  and  know  that  if  he  was  assured  of  being 
sustained  and  furnished  with  the  means,  he  would  put 
himself  at  the  head  of  the  movement.  Professors,  capable 
of  introducing  science  as  a  connected  whole,  and  of  in- 
forming us,  from  an  intelligible  point  of  view,  what  to 
do  to  be  understandingly  saved,  await  but  a  call.  I 
will  take  $100.000  worth  of  stock  to  begin  the  enter- 
prise. 

MR.  C.     And  I,  $100.000. 

'MR.  D.     And  I,  $50,000. 

MR.  E.     And  I,  $75,000. 

MR.  F.     And  I,  $25,000. 

MR.  G.     And  I, 

MR.  A.  Hold,  gentlemen,  'til  I  can  put  down  your 
names,  and — but  no,  we'll  have  a  special  meeting  for 
that  purpose.  I  have  no  doubt,  from  appearances,  our 
church  stock  will  be  a  good  paying  investment.  We 
will  now  see  if  we  can  make  Sunday  what  it  should  be, 
"  for  man  ;"  and  begin  to  make  the  human  race  some- 
tiling  more  than  the  laughing-stock  for  all  the  rest  of  na- 
ture. 

MR.  NEGATIVE.  All  this  may  be  very  well,  as  to 
yourself,  Mr.  A.,  and  perhaps  a  few  others.  But  in  order 
to  make  the  thing  succeed,  immense  numbers  will  be  nec- 
essary ;  and  it  will  take  a  long  time  to  enlighten  their 
minds  on  the  subject,  to  discuss  the  merits,  and  thus 
convince  them  of  the  truth  of  the  new  system,  and  make 
them  perfectly  understand  what  they  are  going  about. 

MR.  A.  Understand  ? — convince  ?  —  enlighten  ? — • 
truth  ?  — Pray,  Mr.  Negative,  when  have  the  masses 
understood,  or  been  enlightened  as  to  the  truth  of  what- 
ever system  f  they  have  followed?  Not  the  working, 
but  the  work,  of  sociology,  can  the  masses  understand. 


42  HELL   ON  EARTH. 

Are  they  understandingly  convinced  of  the  truth  of  theo- 
logy ?  Are  they  enlightened  as  to  the  truth  of  Democracy  ? 
Or  do  'they  take  both,  but  more  particularly  the  former, 
on  trust ;  supposing,  hitherto  only  to  be  deceived,  that 
•must  be  true  which  is  backed  up  by  such  respectable 
authority  ?  The  people  understand  moral,  political  and 
social  science,  the  summum  bonum  of  all  science,  Mr. 
Negative  ?  why,  they  seldom  pretend  to  be  good  at  more 
than  one  science. 

But  the  more  advanced  society  becomes,  the  more 
important  leadership  will  be,  because  the  more  scientific 
it  must  be. 

To  dispense  with  leadership, — to  make  the  sense  of 
the  majority  the  test  of  wisdom,  the  use  of  science,  in 
sociology,  must  be  denied  ;  or  else,  every  individual,  or 
at  least  the  majority,  must  explore  the  whole  of  it,  as 
it  is  a  unity,  and  keep  pace  with  its  rapidly  increasing 
complexity. 

But  as  science,  and  even  leadership,  are  acknowledged 
necessities  in  matters  grossly  material,  is  it  not  madness 
to  deny  their  increasing  usefulness  in  Sociology  ? — to 
exclude  them  from  the  only  sphere  in  which  it  is  possi- 
ble for  the  transcendent  value  of  their  functions  to  be 
manifested  ? 

Let  science  have  a  chance  to  finish  its  work  ;  for,  if 
it  fails,  we  can,  at  any  time,  have  recourse  to  the  bless- 
ings of  superstition,  demagogism  and  infidelity. 

Intelligent  wealthy  people  support  the  church,  because 
nothingism  is  the  only  alternative.  The  sexual  relations, 
law,  government,  education,  every  thing ;  even  fractional, 
crucified,  headless  science,  is  connected  with,  and  more 
or  less  dependent  on,  the  pitiful  caricature  of  organiza- 
tion which  theology,  in  the  last  stage  of  decay,  affords. 
The  ladies  attend  church  as  model  artists,  on  which  for 
gallant  gentlemen  to  feast  their  eyes,  and  delight  their 
imaginations.  But  the  thing  is  beyond  discussion's 
reach,  Mr  Negative.  We  shall  begin  with  a  power  ot 
respectable  and  admired  talent,  and  a  leader  whom  the 
church  venerates.  Free  discussion  has  become  almost 


HELL  ON   EAETH.  43 

as  great  a  clog  to  progress  as  its  suppression  ever  was. 
Popular  liberry  can  amount  to  nothing  more  than  rope 
enough  for  the  people  to  hang  themselves  with,  except 
in  proportion  as  it  is  preceded  by  science,  so  extended 
as  to  include  sociology  ;  and  science,  to  be  thus  extended, 
must  become  religion;  and  be  associated  witli  splendour, 
melody,  gayety,  and  all  which  the  entire  satisfaction  of 
man's  nature  requires. 

As  fast  as  absolutism  relinquishes,  demagogism  and 
social  quackery  occupy.  Thus,  popular  sovereignty 
never  can  be  a  reality,  'til  science  is  prime  minister,  in- 
vested with  power  over  all,  except  man's  right  to  decide 
on  its  merits  from  its  performances. 

This  is  the  way  we  shall  exterminate  old  fogy  ism, 
strangle  both  superstition  and  negativism,  and  dry  up 
vain  discussion.  [Folding  doors  open.  Enter  the 
learned  clergyman,  attended  by  a  number  of  scientific 
professors,  elegantly  dressed,  followed  by  forty  or  fifty 
ladies,  mostly  in  ball  costume,  and  a  whole  Sunday- 
school  of  little  Misses  and  Masters.  Music.'] 

Gentlemen,  please  take  partners  for  the  Serious  Family 
Polka.  [The  clergyman  selects  Mrs.  A..  The  prof essors 
select  ladies  who  have  been  apprized  of  what  was  going 
on;  the  children  are  eager  and  delighted;  some  of  the 
ladies  and  gentlemen  are  surprised,  but  passively  yield 
to  the  influence  of  the  current,  and  even  Negative  asks 
to  be  introduced  to  a  partner,  and  is  evidently  under 
such  strong  convictions,  that  there  seems  every  probability 
of  his  joining  the  church,  without  further  discussion.] 

After  the  Polka,  the  first  priest  of  true  religion  re- 
marked:— 

Ladies  and  Gentlemen. —  Science  and  philosophy, 
never  can  achieve  any  thing  like  a  triumph,  'til  properly 
adjusted  to,  and  associated  with,  the  melodious,  the  gay 
and  beautiful,  and  the  amusing.  Those  who  represent 
the  gay,  the  beautiful,  in  a  word,  all  that  is  enchanting/ 
have  hitherto  been  reduced  to  the  necessity  of  lavishing 
their  admiration,  and  wasting  too  much  of  their  sweet- 
ness on  the  meanest  of  mankind,  because  such  were, 


44  HELL   ON   EARTH. 

more  than  any  other  class,  associated  with  the  music, 
tinsel,  and  gayety,  which  the  worthier  portion  of  hu- 
manity have  so  unwisely  ommitted,  or  so  stupidly  de- 
spised. 

Does  tender-hearted  woman  love  murderers?  Does 
she  admire  those  whose  trade  it  is  to  make  widows  and 
orphans  ?  Libellous  nonsense.  She  does,  indeed,  love 
valour,  but  'tis  a  virtue  so  little  known  to  the  soldiery, 
that  the  reality  of  it  would,  most  likely,  stamp  its  pos- 
sessor a  coward.  'Tis  seldom  a  soldier's  idea  of  courage, 
rises  above  furious  recklessness. 

Ladies  admire  soldiers,  because  they  are  gaily  dressed, 
jovial  fellows,  and  associated  with  music  ;  and  here  is  a 
lesson  of  wisdom,  of  more  practical  use,  than  any  we 
have  yet  learned.  Let  philosophy  and  science  not  despise 
it,  'til  they  are  prepared  to  turn  up  their  dignified  noses 
at  the  melody  of  birds  and  their  gay  plumage,  the  beauty 
of  flowers,  the  brilliancy  of  the  rainbow's  tints,  and  lovely 
woman's  all  powerful  influence. 

What  would  a  church,  an  army,  nay,  the  world  it- 
self, be,  without  the  melodious,  the  gay,  the  beautiful  ? 
Most  miserable  and  gloomy  failures  ;  ridiculously  incom- 
plete and  inefficient,  like  science  and  philosophy,  hitherto. 

Beauty,  gayety,  and  melody,  have  too  long  been  the 
slaves  of  superstition,  rapine,  and  murder.  Henceforth, 
let  them  adorn,  enliven,  and  complete,  science  and  phy- 
losophy. 


Next  Sunday,  the  new  church  could  not  contain  half 
the  people  principle,  expectation,  .and  curiosity,  had 
brought  thither.  The  pastor,  the  scientific  college,  and 
the  initiated,  appeared  in  a  costume  of  such  elegance  and 
good  taste,  that,  in  it,  the  fine  art  of  dress  seemed  to 
have  attained  perfection.  Also,  they  had  made  the  most 
of  the  very  favourable  circumstances  under  which  they 
were  about  to  inaugurate  a  movement,  the  importance 
of  which,  threw  all  previous  ones  into  insignificance. 
Elegance,  taste,  beauty,  gayety,  fairy  forms  in  associa- 
tion with  music's  soft  strains, — all  the  requisites  ot 


HELL  ON  EARTH.  45 

mirth,  joy,  and  gladness,  were  there.  Victory  was  evi- 
dent. For  the  ladies  being  completely  charmed,  enrap- 
tured, captivated ;  the  men,  of  course,  cheerfully  and 
gracefully  surrendered  at  discretion,  and  superstition  was 
doomed. 

The  discourse  consisted  of  a  summary  of  what  science, 
the  religion  of  the  known  and  comprehensible,,  proposed 
to  effect ;  and  the  use  of  all  the  halls  in  the  church  was 
explained  to  such  purpose,  that  although  a  few  members 
sullenly  withdrew,  their  places  were  more  than  doubly 
made  good  by  recruits  from  other  churches ;  and  all 
Christendom,  evidently,  would  soon  have  to  join  the  great 
reformation,  or  find  their  superstition  shops  in  a  condi- 
tion similar  to  that  of  the  Mississippi  flat  boats,  after 
steam  navigation  commenced. 

Mr  Negative  remarked,  that  the  religion  of  the  known 
would  be  more  expensive  than  that  of  the  unknown, 
were  it  not  that  the  true  church  will  accommodate,  in 
one  grand  edifice,  the  congregations  which  the  false 
church  assembles  in  six  or  eight  superstition  shops. 

In  the  evening,  the  first  edifice  ever  dedicated  to 
true  religion,  was  briliantly  illuminated.  In  the  large 
hall,  "music  arose  with  its  voluptuous  swell,"  and  youth 
and  beauty,  childhood  and  old  age,  "  tripped  the  light 
fantastic  toe,"  and  sung  the  requiem  of  superstition,  de- 
magogism  and  infidelity.  And  this  was  but  the  prelude 
to  man's  destiny.  A  destiny  faintly  conceived  by  the 
ancient  seers.  A  destiny  which  will  realize  the  millenium 
and  even  Heaven  of  the  multitude.  A  destiny,  the  glory 
and  happiness  of  which,  however  misconceived  as  to 
minutia,  have  not  been  over  estimated,  or  too  highly 
coloured,  by  the  great  sociological  prophet,  Charles 
Fourier. 

The  government  of  science,  as  a  religion,  must  suc- 
ceed wherever  absolutism  vacates,  or  demagogism  and 
moral  and  political  quackery  will  occupy.  Superstition 
has  its  root  in  the  soil  of  savage  ignorance,  wild  demo- 
cracy. Hence,  in  even  modern,  and  somewhat  tamed, 
democracy,  superstition  flourishes  better  than  under  any 


HELL   ON    EARTH. 

other  form  of  government.  In  the  United  States  and 
Mexico,  it  shows  itself  much  more  at  home  than  in 
France,  England,  or  even  Rome  itself.  The  woist  ty- 
rant never  hated  liberty.  He  only  loved  it  so  well,  that, 
in  his  blind  fury  to  secure  it  for  himself,  he  trampled  on 
the  rights  of  others. 

Those  who  think  "  the  world  is  governed  too  much," 
have  evidently  not  looked  beyond  the  sham  which  passes 
for  government.  Of  that,  the  least  possible  quantity  is 
certainly  the  best.  But  of  scientific  government,  we 
can  never  have  a  surfeit ;  for  were  we  as  perfect  as  pos- 
sible ;  were  all  phenomena  understood ;  leadership  alone 
could  preserve  the  knowledge  which  gives  existence  all 
its  value. 

THE    END. 


THE  CONFESSIONS  OF  JEAN  JACQUES  ROU& 
SEAU.  NEWLY  TRANSLATED,  WITHOUT  OMISSIONS  OR 
EXPURGATIONS. 

Period  First  relates  to  Rousseau's  youthful  adventures 
to  the  thirtieth  year  of  his  age. 

Period  Second  embraces  his  literary  and  public  career. 

Both  Periods  make  two  large,  elegant  12mo  Volumes, 

sold  separately,  at  $1  25  each,  or  $2  50  the  set.  Mailed  free. 

"  There  hardly  exists  such  another  example  of  the  miracles  which  com- 
position can  perform." — Lord  Brougham, 

"  There  have  been  what  purported  to  be  translations  of  the  world 
famous  Confessions  of  Rousseau  before ;  but  Mr.  Calvin  Blanchard's,  just 
issued,  is  the  first  that  we  know  of  which  is  unmutilated  and  accurate." — 
Putnam's  Monthly. 

"  It  has  been  translated  into  every  language  of  Europe;  the  librarian 
of  Napoleon  devoted  a  large  volume  to  the  classification  of  the  different 
editions  of  it.-  Evening  Post. 

"  Blessed  be  the  early  days  when  I  sat  at  the  feet  of  Eousseau,  prophet 
tad  and  stately  as  any  of  Jewry.  Every  onward  movement  of  the  age, 
every  downward  step  into  the  dephts  of  my  own  soul,  recalls  thy  oracles, 
O  Jean  Jacques !" — Margaret  Fuller. 

The  Confessions  incidentally  portray  the  remarkable 
times  immediately  preceding  the  French  Revolution.  The 
squalid  wretchedness  of  the  peasantry;  the  gross  licen- 
tiousness of  the  clergy ;  the  gallantries  of  the  nobility. 
It  introduces  us  to  those  famous  philosophers,  Voltaire, 
d'Holbach,  Diderot,  d'Alembert,  Hume;  to  Mesdames  de 
Warens,  d'Epinay,  and  the  enchanting  d'Houdetot.  But 
the  heart  revealings  of  Jean  Jacques  are  its  crowning  glory. 

Just  published  by 

CALVIN  BLANCHARD. 

76  NASSAU  STREET,  N.  Y. 


MOMENTOUS  WORK. 


THE  DOCTRINE  OF  INSPIRATION,  BEING 
AN  INaiTIRY  CONCERNING  THE  IN- 
FALLIBILITY,  INSPIRATION  AND  AU- 
THORITY OF  HOLY  WRIT.  By  the  Rev. 
JOHN  MACNAUGHT,  M.  A.  Oxon,  Incumbent  of  St. 
Chrysostoms  Church,  Everton,  Liverpool.  12mo. 
$1.37.  Mailed  free. 

This  work  is  more  significant  than  any  which  has 
appeared  since  the  advent  of  Strauss's  Life  of  Jesus. 
The  vulgar  idea  of  the  supernatural  inspiration  of  the 
Bible  is  here  abandoned ;  and  what  is  more,  it  is  shown 
that  many  of  the  chief  dignitaries,  including  four 
Bishops  of  the  Church  of  England,  have  held,  on  the 
sly,  similar  opinions.  The  citadel  of  bigotry,  super- 
stition and  intolerance,  may  now  be  considered  as 
authoritatively  surrendered. 

"  It  is  the  first  book  written  by  an  Orthodox  cler- 
gyman which  decidedly  denies  the  doctrine  of  Scriptu- 
ral Infallibility.  It  is  well  written  and  manly." 
Christian  Inquirer.  \Unitarian\. 

From  the  Westminster  Review. 
"  Distinguished  by  a  fearless  investigation  of  truth, 
an  uncompromising  hostility  to  deception  and  make- 
believe.     Distinguished  likewise  by  clearness  of   con- 
ception, closeness  of  argument,  purity  of  expression, 
and  completeness  of  arrangement.     And  unless  intol- 
erance and  superstition  shall  succeed  in  smothering 
the  work,  it  is  one  which  will  exercise  a  wide  influence 
• — one  which  will  give  form  and  substance  to  thoughts 
which  have  been  floating  vaguely  in  many  mens  minds 
— one  which  will  supply  a  rallying  point,  and  become 
in  lieu  of  a  creed  to  those  who  are  dissatisfied  with  tra- 
ditional and  untenable  theories  respecting  inspiration." 
Published  by  CALVIN  BLANCHARD, 
76  Nassau  St.  New  York. 


UC  SOUTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FACILITY 


A     000  088  326     4 


University  of  California 

SOUTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FACILITY 

Return  this  material  to  the  library 

from  which  it  was  borrowed. 


E  oer  01 


'D  LD- 
W  |« 
1  5  J994 


IBOOIKIS 


CALVIN  BLANCHARD,  76  Nassau  St.,  N.  Y 

(SKNT    r.Y    MAIL    I'nsTAGK    KIcHK.) 

COMTE'S  POSITIVE  PHILOSOPHY,  Svo.  pp.  838  ...... 

COMTE'S  SOCIAL  PHYSICS  ..........................  .  .......       25 

STRAUSS'  CRITICAL  EXAMINATION  OF  THE-  LIFE 

OF  JESUS,  2vo!s.  Svo  ............................  ,..'  .....  4  50 

FEUEJIBACH'S  ESSENCE  OF  CHRISTIANITY,  12  mo.  1  r.O 
GREG'S  CREED  OF  CHRISTENDOM,  I2i,m  ...............   1  25 

HOWITT'S  HISTORY  OF  PRIESTCRAFT,  11'  mo  .........       75 

MARY  WOLLSTONECRAFT'S  RIGHTS  OF  WOMAN.       75 
YOLNEY'S  NLW  RESEARCHES  ON  ANCIENT    HIS- 

TORY, 12mo  ...............................................   1   25 

VOLNEY'S  RITXS,  paper  cover  and  bound  .............  30  and  f.O 

TAYLOR'S  DEVIL'S  PULPIT,  12mo.  ........................   1  25 

TAYLOR'S  ASTRO-THEOLOGICAL  LECTURES,,  being 

the  second  series  of  The  Devil's  Pulpit,  ll'mo  ........    1    37 

TAYLOR'S  BELIEF  NOT  THE  SAFE  SIDE  ...............        10 

TAYLOR'S  LECTURES  ON  FREE  MASONRY  ............       25 

WHO  IS  THE  LORI)    GOD?     By  TAYLOR  .............       30 

WHO  WAS  JESUS  CHRIST?  ...................................        10 

WHO  TS  THE  HOLY  GHOST?      By  TAYLOR  ..........       10 

WHO  IS  THE  DEVIL?     By  TAYLOR  ..................       15 

THE  NEW  CRISIS,  or  Our  Deliverance  from  l'rk:>tiy  Fraud, 

Political  Charlatanry  and  Popular  Despotism  .......        13 

THE  ESSENCE  OF  SCIENCE,  or  The  Catechism  of  JW 

rive  Sociology  and  Physical  Mentality.     By  a  Stu- 

dent of  Auguste  Comte,  12mo  ......................  (JO  and  37 

HITTELL'S  PLEA  FOR  PANTHEISM  ..........  ,  ............       25 

HITTELL'S  PHRENOLOGY  ....................................       75 

WHAT  IS  TRUTH  ?  or  Revelation  its  Own  Nemesis,  12uio.   1   25 
MACNAUGHT  ON  INSPIRATION,  I2mo,  ................    1  37 

VESTIGES  OF  CIVILlZA'l'lON,  l?mo  ......................   1   25 

HITTELL'S  EVIDENCES  AGAINST  CHRISTIANITY, 

2  vob,  12mo  .................................................  2  50 

HELL  ON  EARTH  ;  or,  an  Expose  of  the  'nfernal  Machina- 

tions and  Horrible  Atrocities  of  Whilcd  Sepulcherism  : 

together  with  a  Plan  for  its  Final  Ove/Mirow  ......... 

ROUSSEAU'S  CONFESSIONS,  Complete,  2  -.-Is    :  .  * 
FOURIKR'H  SOCIAL  DESTINY  Of  MAN,  8vo....|M 

HOW  TO  GET  A  DIVORCE  ;  tosMhe"  with 

al!  the  States  in  the  Ui,;<.n  on  this  suiiject  ......  .fl 

BOCCACCIO'S  DECAMERON,  12rao  illustrated  ......  .9 

THE  LIBilA  RY  OF  LOVE  ;  iMmo.  v.itb  engravings.  Tffl 

most  exquisitely  aim-runs  and  rechwhe  effusio^ 

ever  penned.     Comprising  : 

OVID'S  ART  OF  LOVE,  and  Amorous  Works   entire,      50 
KISSES  OF  r;i:CUNDUS  AND  BONNEFONS  .............     50 

DRYDEN'SF.-.BLES....  50 


